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PDA tips for 17 year old

Christmas fairy

DD showing traits of PDA (not mentioned in her diagnosis), but she refuses to do anything if I ask and replies "I'll do it when I'm ready, and by you keep asking me won't make me do it any quicker"

Any advice seems to be aimed at younger children eg: making teeth brushing a race....

Any tips for older teen (nearly 18)?

Parents

  • Try to reframe orders as decisions.

    So instead of asking her to clean her room. Ask her if she wants to clean her room tonight or over the weekend? Then follow up by saying you want to do something fun with her at the weekend, so it might be best to get it out the way now. But it is up to her.

    So you rebrand the request as a decision. And then you hide that request inside of something positive (an upcoming treat) so that you can further remove the sting from it.

    Also - if she has PDA - it may be worth getting a formal diagnosis. Knowledge is half the battle when it comes to dealing with something. Once you understand why you act a certain way - you can feel empowered to change yourself.

Reply

  • Try to reframe orders as decisions.

    So instead of asking her to clean her room. Ask her if she wants to clean her room tonight or over the weekend? Then follow up by saying you want to do something fun with her at the weekend, so it might be best to get it out the way now. But it is up to her.

    So you rebrand the request as a decision. And then you hide that request inside of something positive (an upcoming treat) so that you can further remove the sting from it.

    Also - if she has PDA - it may be worth getting a formal diagnosis. Knowledge is half the battle when it comes to dealing with something. Once you understand why you act a certain way - you can feel empowered to change yourself.

Children
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