I think my son has ASD. I think I have ASD.
I don't know if I'm projecting my painful childhood onto my 3.5yo son or whether I'm being realistic.
My son never babbled, his speech has always been slow and although he speaks in full sentences now he doesn't express his feeling or identify emotions other than happy/sad. His eye His contact is terrible and doesn't go to his keyworker when hurt or upset.
At home he is a happy, intelligent, and loving child. We have a close bond. He attends nursery but tells me he doesn't like it. When he is there he seems happy. I think I was happy at being included at 3, by 4 I longed for friends.
At nursery they are telling me he lags behind his peers with emerging skills in several areas. At home I see him meeting most areas except social/behavioural and physical. He seems to exceed some expectations by far.
The nursery tell me he is happy to play alone, he plays with the other children for 5 minutes and then runs off and prefers to watch with a big smile on his face. They tell me he likes being alone, at home it's the other end of the scale and we can't leave him alone unless he has a screen. He not putting himself at risk just needs constant attention.
I have often thought ASD but didn't see any sensory issues I backed off. He hates hair washing and we have to comb as we wash, he also not keen on too much noise. The tantrums are minimal and I wouldn't say he has frightening meltdowns. He does like things the way he likes them and I always explain what's going to happen in advance.
I think my husband and I both have sensory issues so at home it's usually quiet and calm and as I strongly relate to many autistic traits I feel I understand our son. We are tired but we cope. When I tell him no he doesn't listen and he doesn't seem to get it when I'm cross with him.
My history is of selective mutism, social anxiety, depression and bipolar although that last one has never felt write to me and I've only had one episode of hypomania. Some people tell me I'm depressed sometimes but I'm not, it's different, I long for connection.
Anyway I've decided to take the plunge and seek a diagnosis for my son and I. My husband is skeptical and sees no issues. The nursery said he's fine. The HV dismissed us when he didn't babble. All the little things together and starting school in September I feel I have no choice.
I'm feeling like I'm going out on a limb and terrified the GP will not take me seriously. I'm really facing the lifetime reality that I'm different. My experience with mental health services has been traumatic. I'm terrified. I worry I will be told I'm depressed/anxious, over estimating my son and ands accept he's struggling. I think most of these things in isolation I'd probably dismiss myself. I also a pic conflict and if someone disagrees with me I take it as total rejection and they hate me. I have to fight it with logic.
What happens if I'm wrong about and end up with my parenting scrutinised and outside interference.
Help!
