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15yr old son refuses to be assessed.

kathrine

Hi, I’m a newbie to this forum but wanted to hear opinions and try and get some support really. My son is 15 years old and since he was about 4 years old has shown various signs of autism/OCD. It has at times been unbearable in the family home as it is very stressful and on occasion I had spoken to the primary school headteacher who assured me that the issues we were having at home were not apparent at school. I did doubt this but wondered if my son was bottling everything up for when he came through the door. I should add we did go to the drs then and spoke about the issues and the Dr assured us he was just a “normal” boy. Grrr.

My son has continued on this path, still displays signs of OCD, gets fixated on certain topics and researches them to the ‘enth degree! He has alienated himself from friends who are not interested in the subjects he’s interested in. 

After a spell of being down and trouble sleeping for around a year a visit to drs resulted in referral to mental heath service who seemed to think he would be better off having an assessment re autism.

We went to see the paediatrician who spoke to my son and she then saw me afterwards and said that he is showing many signs of autism and would benefit from an official assessment, however he will not entertain it. We are now in limbo. We have been discharged due to the fact my son will not have an assessment. 

my question is has anyone else been in such a situation and does anyone have any advice? In the meantime I am reading up on how I can support him as a mother but should I be doing anything else? Thanks 

Parents

  • I'm not a parent, but I'm an adult who's struggled with OCD since childhood, and I'm awaiting an autism assessment too. In terms of whether or not to seek diagnosis, at his age, you may need to accept that it's his choice (although I know it must be upsetting to see him struggle without support). Perhaps it'd be worth exploring some coping strategies without seeking diagnosis - there are certain things that might make his life easier without him needing the official diagnosis. Purple Ella (YouTube) has some useful tips for autistic people and their parents. You may find that he seeks a diagnosis himself in later life, so perhaps he just needs some time to get his head around it.

    In terms of his mental health, OCD can often co-occur alongside autism, so there's no reason he should be denied support for OCD on the basis that he may be autistic. I was offered therapy for OCD as well as a referral for an autism diagnosis. OCD and autism both involve repetitive behaviours, but they're very different conditions. You might find this page helpful for distinguishing between OCD and autism, and to back-up another mental health referral if that's what you'd like to pursue: https://www.autism.org.uk/about/health/mental-health.aspx. If you're having trouble with your GP (which I did), you can often self-refer online to your local NHS service.

    I hope your son gets the support he needs.

  • in reply to DuckBread

    Thanks for taking the time to reply. I will follow up the points you make. I think you’re right about it taking time maybe for him to contemplate what has been said re assessment. Often, he just needs to come round to things on his terms. Thanks again 

  • in reply to kathrine

    No problem - hope everything goes well for you both.

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