Awaiting on a Diagnosis for my 9 year old son and needing some support, advice and guidance

Hi there, sorry if this post is quite long winded. My son who is 9 is waiting to be assessed for Autism, ever since he was a baby/toddler I have found his behaviour and tantrums quite challenging but always just put it down to terrible 2's etc and thought he will probably grow out of it. since he stared school, everything seemed to get worse, he cant cope with loud or busy places , in the classroom he lashes out if its too noisy and in the playground hes hit children and name calling but doesn't understand that he cant do that. He cant express his emotions very well at all and doesn't have any empathy for others. He is currently seeing the school Psychologist but I haven't noticed much difference with anything. Its so difficult to get out the house as he doesnt like going anywhere and his brother suffers through this as I am a single parent. Now he has started not eating , says he hungry but doesn't want anything I offer, he has always been quite a bad eater but now he eats barley anything and its worrying me a lot. I have given him the choice to go pick what he wants but he says no to everything and I am at my wits end, not sure if this is a common trait with autistic children. I am looking to speak with anyone who is going through something similar as I don't know of anyone and it can be quite upsetting and lonely at times as no one understands.  Thanks for reading.

  • Hi there, it most be super tricky being a single parent and also not having a diagnosis yet as without that some educators feel they don't have to make any changes in the school to support your child. Good news that he's in the system undergoing assessment and seeing the school psychologist though - he has an opportunity to talk about his feelings. My son is nearly 10 and was diagnosed at 4 just before he started school. The school has been great most of the time and have engaged with my suggestions about possible changes they can make to help support him through the more difficult times. A few things I'd say are that 9 is about the time boys have a surge of hormones - i've noticed my son getting very moody and grumpy over the last month or so, classic sulking behaviour, stomping off to his bedroom when things don't go his way. I have recently gone back to meditating with him. 'Sitting Still Like a Frog' is a book with CD so you can play short meditations aimed at children. The other thing that makes a big difference to my son is having a biter - he likes to chew a lot and does it more when he's excited or anxious, so maybe trying one of these may be helpful? Regarding his eating, or lack of it, I would weigh him and as long as he's in the band for his height and age don't worry about it too much. If he is underweight then you have a valid reason to seek medical help and go through your GP or go back to the paediatrician to discuss this as a separate issue, even if they are linked, because of its seriousness. About getting out and about more - are you friendly with any of the other mums at school? Can you arrange for your other son to go on play dates at all whilst this is happening? 

    There must be loads of people using this forum who have been through similar issues, sorry my suggestions are all so vague!

    Take care