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I just need to share

Ettie

Pluh! What a stressful month. Our son was diagnosed over the summer aged 5. Although it was no surprise it is only now that I coming to realise the enormity of 'forever'. We had a hellish half term - he defied me at every opportunity, used quotes from movies at inappropriate times calling people 'hey fishface' after watching Scooby Doo, fought with his brother and lashed out at all around him. Back at school I hoped the routing would help him and then realised I had forgotten his ballet kit needed for his lesson that day. Of course we had massive melt down about it and I had to take him home - feel so guilty, it was probably an avoidable incident if only I had remembered the kit. His emotional highs and lows are exhausting, he ranges from anger to frustration to inconsolable upset to happiness, joviality and joking around i nthe space of five minutes. I am running out of parenting ideas and feel ever so lonely. My husband is lovely but just doesn't really get it and I just really needed to share this with people that might understand what I am feeling - am I totally alone, is it this hard with a child with ASD, what can I do to make it easier for him and his brother who, bless him, is struggling to adapt too. AAAAAARGH, I am so exhausted and upset by this all and I just dread that it is just going to get harder as he is already standing out more and more amongst his peers. Need some reassurance or help, please!

Parents

  • hi Ettie - picking up words from others and/or from tv can be a nightmare.  I always try to remain outwardly calm + give a short explanation as to why using a certain word is inappropriate.  Have found in the past that a big reaction doesn't help.  I'm not saying it always works though.  It must be very difficult for your son to have such a roller coaster of emotions.  Sounds like you need more support than you're getting.  You have 3 people you're trying to keep happy and who you're also worrying about.  It's a big load for a person, however strong they may be.  I think autism can be difficult for some people to understand.  It can be difficult to explain to others.  It's such a relief when you talk to people who do "get it".  "Forever" makes it sound like things remain static, altho I don't think you mean it that way.  Your son is only 5, he will develop, especially in the right educational setting to meet his needs.  Does he understand when school holidays are and when he goes back?  My son became very interested in calendars for quite a while and this helped him because he knew in advance what he was doing each day.   Also he liked the holidays and also liked school so there weren't issues there.  Does your local council offer quality respite care at all? Sometimes a short break can help if it's regular.  Please don't feel guilty, altho we all do at times I think.  You're a good mum.

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  • hi Ettie - picking up words from others and/or from tv can be a nightmare.  I always try to remain outwardly calm + give a short explanation as to why using a certain word is inappropriate.  Have found in the past that a big reaction doesn't help.  I'm not saying it always works though.  It must be very difficult for your son to have such a roller coaster of emotions.  Sounds like you need more support than you're getting.  You have 3 people you're trying to keep happy and who you're also worrying about.  It's a big load for a person, however strong they may be.  I think autism can be difficult for some people to understand.  It can be difficult to explain to others.  It's such a relief when you talk to people who do "get it".  "Forever" makes it sound like things remain static, altho I don't think you mean it that way.  Your son is only 5, he will develop, especially in the right educational setting to meet his needs.  Does he understand when school holidays are and when he goes back?  My son became very interested in calendars for quite a while and this helped him because he knew in advance what he was doing each day.   Also he liked the holidays and also liked school so there weren't issues there.  Does your local council offer quality respite care at all? Sometimes a short break can help if it's regular.  Please don't feel guilty, altho we all do at times I think.  You're a good mum.

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