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New mum

Kim84

Hi everyone, 

             Just wanted to introuce myself & seek some help really. I'm Kim, 28, originally from Birmingham but now living in Bristol. I have a daughter Ella who is 4 in December & a brand new baby Aidan who was born in early September. 

Over the last year my partner & I have become concerned about our daughter as she reached 3 & still wasn't able to converse with us like other children we had encountered at the same age. No matter how hard we worked she just did not want to talk to us, even to ask for simple things like food & drink. For the past few months she has been seen by a lot of health professionals (Health visitor, SENCO, Health centre nursery nurse, pediatrician & speech therpaist). She has now started to make progress with the speech & social skills, mainly thanks to the pre-school she started to attend at easter last year, but autism has been one of the things they have flagged up & keep bringing into conversation, but no diagnosis has been made yet. 

I don't mean to offend anyone but I was devastated at being told she could have autism until then they had said it was a delay that was "fixable" she would just catch up. To then be told actually its not a delay & we think it's something you cannot fix was heartbreaking. I felt I had failed her, it was my fault it was something I did or didn't do that's made this happen. I still do to some extent. 

Since having my 2nd child Ella has started displaying difficult behaviours which never occurred before: waking at night singing & talking to herself very loudly, climbing on tables & chairs, switching lights on & off, etc. I am not sure how to deal with these new things as she does not understand to be quiet or that climbing is dangerous. She loves her baby brother & tries to help me, but I'm not sure if such a big change could have caused this sudden change in behaviour.

I'm just really looking for some support as at the moment I'm struggling to come to terms with what is happening & the fact that things are likely to change now for the forseeable future, that my little girl is always going to have this label now. 

Any help much appreciated, thanks Kim x

 

Parents

  • Thank you, I haven't been on here for a while as I have been in denial I guess. A speech therapist has now said she thinks it is speech & language disorder which obviously I thought great she isn't an ASD child after all, but the area senco still thinks it is autism so we are no closer to a diagnosis. I don't know what to think anymore & Ella's behaviour is becoming more & more challenging. She is improving in lots of areas,following instructions, eye contact, doing more for herself, etc but when told no she can't have or has to do something she doesn't want to do, all hell breaks loose. I have no idea if she is being a typical 3/4 yr old (she is 4 on the 21st Dec) or whether this is a trait of the possible ASD. 

    Does anyone have any ideas on how I combat this?? Today it was she wanted to push her brother in the pram, but it's too heavy for her, so I had to help, but she didn't want me to, pushing me away when I tried to help & then screaming when I told her I had to help but she could help too. She also will not hold anyone's hand when walking all of a sudden. 

    I fear she is starting to copy some children who are autistic at a local group we attend for special needs children & that is why her behaviour deteriorates more on the days following her visit to the group. 

    Thank you for all your kind words & I will read the post you directed me to.  xx


     

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  • Thank you, I haven't been on here for a while as I have been in denial I guess. A speech therapist has now said she thinks it is speech & language disorder which obviously I thought great she isn't an ASD child after all, but the area senco still thinks it is autism so we are no closer to a diagnosis. I don't know what to think anymore & Ella's behaviour is becoming more & more challenging. She is improving in lots of areas,following instructions, eye contact, doing more for herself, etc but when told no she can't have or has to do something she doesn't want to do, all hell breaks loose. I have no idea if she is being a typical 3/4 yr old (she is 4 on the 21st Dec) or whether this is a trait of the possible ASD. 

    Does anyone have any ideas on how I combat this?? Today it was she wanted to push her brother in the pram, but it's too heavy for her, so I had to help, but she didn't want me to, pushing me away when I tried to help & then screaming when I told her I had to help but she could help too. She also will not hold anyone's hand when walking all of a sudden. 

    I fear she is starting to copy some children who are autistic at a local group we attend for special needs children & that is why her behaviour deteriorates more on the days following her visit to the group. 

    Thank you for all your kind words & I will read the post you directed me to.  xx


     

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