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New mum

Kim84

Hi everyone, 

             Just wanted to introuce myself & seek some help really. I'm Kim, 28, originally from Birmingham but now living in Bristol. I have a daughter Ella who is 4 in December & a brand new baby Aidan who was born in early September. 

Over the last year my partner & I have become concerned about our daughter as she reached 3 & still wasn't able to converse with us like other children we had encountered at the same age. No matter how hard we worked she just did not want to talk to us, even to ask for simple things like food & drink. For the past few months she has been seen by a lot of health professionals (Health visitor, SENCO, Health centre nursery nurse, pediatrician & speech therpaist). She has now started to make progress with the speech & social skills, mainly thanks to the pre-school she started to attend at easter last year, but autism has been one of the things they have flagged up & keep bringing into conversation, but no diagnosis has been made yet. 

I don't mean to offend anyone but I was devastated at being told she could have autism until then they had said it was a delay that was "fixable" she would just catch up. To then be told actually its not a delay & we think it's something you cannot fix was heartbreaking. I felt I had failed her, it was my fault it was something I did or didn't do that's made this happen. I still do to some extent. 

Since having my 2nd child Ella has started displaying difficult behaviours which never occurred before: waking at night singing & talking to herself very loudly, climbing on tables & chairs, switching lights on & off, etc. I am not sure how to deal with these new things as she does not understand to be quiet or that climbing is dangerous. She loves her baby brother & tries to help me, but I'm not sure if such a big change could have caused this sudden change in behaviour.

I'm just really looking for some support as at the moment I'm struggling to come to terms with what is happening & the fact that things are likely to change now for the forseeable future, that my little girl is always going to have this label now. 

Any help much appreciated, thanks Kim x

 

Parents

  • Don't worry about offending anyone - it is really, really frightening when someone first mentions the word autism because you can't possibly know what it is going to mean for your child.  Every child with an ASD is completely different.

    Happy Days is right.  Your daughter won't have changed simply by someone naming what it is that makes her different, whether it is autism or not.  A diagnosis gives you something to work with.  

    My son was 2.5 yrs when diagnosed.  There was an awful lack of information about what happens next and what to expect from people so I wrote a letter and posted it on here in the diagnosis section, called ' A letter to the parent of the newly diagnosed'.  Read it if you need it, but fingers crossed you don't.....

    Best of luck to you all. x

Reply

  • Don't worry about offending anyone - it is really, really frightening when someone first mentions the word autism because you can't possibly know what it is going to mean for your child.  Every child with an ASD is completely different.

    Happy Days is right.  Your daughter won't have changed simply by someone naming what it is that makes her different, whether it is autism or not.  A diagnosis gives you something to work with.  

    My son was 2.5 yrs when diagnosed.  There was an awful lack of information about what happens next and what to expect from people so I wrote a letter and posted it on here in the diagnosis section, called ' A letter to the parent of the newly diagnosed'.  Read it if you need it, but fingers crossed you don't.....

    Best of luck to you all. x

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