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New mum

Kim84

Hi everyone, 

             Just wanted to introuce myself & seek some help really. I'm Kim, 28, originally from Birmingham but now living in Bristol. I have a daughter Ella who is 4 in December & a brand new baby Aidan who was born in early September. 

Over the last year my partner & I have become concerned about our daughter as she reached 3 & still wasn't able to converse with us like other children we had encountered at the same age. No matter how hard we worked she just did not want to talk to us, even to ask for simple things like food & drink. For the past few months she has been seen by a lot of health professionals (Health visitor, SENCO, Health centre nursery nurse, pediatrician & speech therpaist). She has now started to make progress with the speech & social skills, mainly thanks to the pre-school she started to attend at easter last year, but autism has been one of the things they have flagged up & keep bringing into conversation, but no diagnosis has been made yet. 

I don't mean to offend anyone but I was devastated at being told she could have autism until then they had said it was a delay that was "fixable" she would just catch up. To then be told actually its not a delay & we think it's something you cannot fix was heartbreaking. I felt I had failed her, it was my fault it was something I did or didn't do that's made this happen. I still do to some extent. 

Since having my 2nd child Ella has started displaying difficult behaviours which never occurred before: waking at night singing & talking to herself very loudly, climbing on tables & chairs, switching lights on & off, etc. I am not sure how to deal with these new things as she does not understand to be quiet or that climbing is dangerous. She loves her baby brother & tries to help me, but I'm not sure if such a big change could have caused this sudden change in behaviour.

I'm just really looking for some support as at the moment I'm struggling to come to terms with what is happening & the fact that things are likely to change now for the forseeable future, that my little girl is always going to have this label now. 

Any help much appreciated, thanks Kim x

 

Parents

  • hi again, im not at all offended, i know its very difficult to come to terms with initially , it can take some getting your head around particularly as you said you never imagined that one day you would be faced with a child of your own who was on the spectrum. like i said though your little girl hasnt changed at all shes still the same little girl you love and adore. I guess although people tend to know about autism (well some people) the realitys dont really hit home untill its actually you and the people you love  that are affected by it.

    Can get quite frustrating waiting for the assesment, the good thing though is thatyou seem to have placed your daughter in a good pre school it sounds quite supportive of her which can make the world of difference. 

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  • hi again, im not at all offended, i know its very difficult to come to terms with initially , it can take some getting your head around particularly as you said you never imagined that one day you would be faced with a child of your own who was on the spectrum. like i said though your little girl hasnt changed at all shes still the same little girl you love and adore. I guess although people tend to know about autism (well some people) the realitys dont really hit home untill its actually you and the people you love  that are affected by it.

    Can get quite frustrating waiting for the assesment, the good thing though is thatyou seem to have placed your daughter in a good pre school it sounds quite supportive of her which can make the world of difference. 

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