Grandparent leaving money in Will

Leaf said:

I'm lucky I won't be inheriting anything

Yes - I won't be burdened with a sack of cash either. 

This is very true. My fear would be that inheritance isn't like trickle down economics, giving everything to the parents might mean the grandchildren get nothing. The more people more hassle thing sounds like a good idea but if people think they are missing out they tend to get grumpy. 

I'm lucky I won't be inheriting anything nor is there anybody to inherit from me, that is the least hassle yet. 

Of course, we don't know the politics of the family and what people's expectations are.    Money is a great way to tear a family apart - especially when a will is involved.   It's why I believe a will should always be as simple as possible.     The more people involved, the more hassle it causes.

Plastic said:

That's why I

I did agree with you that you made some very valid points  

That's why I started with the need to judge his ability to deal with money.    If he's got no understanding of money, he will be at risk of being totally ripped off and losing out on benefits as well - worst case scenario..

This whole 'personal rights' thing is just a brilliant way to flush all the money down the toilet with the help of a greedy solicitor.

That's why I suggest it be held back and possibly put into trust for him - depending on his ability to budget for himself..

Plastic said:

It would be better for the money to come to you so you, at a later date, can use your judgement in how the money eventually gets handed over to him

You do make some valid points but I must say I find this part incredibly difficult to justify - unless the young man who is to inherit has learning difficulties so severe that he does not understand how to deal with money then it is his basic human right to make his own judgments and decisions and not have them made for him. Not all benefits are means tested so having savings may not be a problem unless he has absolutely no way to hold down a job or education, having access to his inheritance may give this young man the ability to start a business that he could manage or he might use it to invest in skills that would be of more benefit than saving or go traveling. 

Personally I would be livid if someone regardless of who they were made a dissuasion on my behalf to keep an inheritance from me because they thought it would effect my benefits, that would not be their decision to make. 

And just to be clear, There is no way to do this without the young mans full permission and assuming he decided not to give permission or to end the arrangement then withholding someones money from them is a crime even if your intentions are well meant, the young man would be quite with in his rights to press charges of theft, so just because your intentions feel justified does not mean they should be acted upon. Someone with Autism should be assisted not managed.

I do respect your view plastic, I just don't wholeheartedly agree with it.  

A lot depends on the potential competency of your son and things like if he will get a job later or be unable to work and relying on benefits - having a pile of cash in the bank may exclude him from some assistance until his own money runs out - it will literally get wasted in lieu of deserved income.

It would be better for the money to come to you so you, at a later date, can use your judgement in how the money eventually gets handed over to him.    This requires a lot of family trust that you will actually hand the money over but there may be suspicion from others that you're stealing the money.     It all needs to be open and above board.

This is one of the reasons that I'm not in favour of splitting money down to grandchildren - split amongst direct children and leave it to them what they do beyond that.

I understand that you want what is best for your son, but with the best will in the world, it is your son's money. We on this forum can not know how capable your son will be at 18, and while it is often said that people with ADHD are more likely to spend money than save it this is not always the case, and I know this from personal experience.

Getting a large sum of money out of the blue can be difficult for anybody regardless of ADHD, Autism or not, But your son knows that he will inherit and if his grandmother passes before his majority then he will know how much, he can therefore plan and learn about how and or where he might like to invest or spend his money. People with Autism like to learn and focus on things that inspire us so helping him to understand the importance of money management and how to do that might be something that will help him thrive. You can help him by pointing him in the right direction to learn. 

If you were given permission to invest his money and you lost it then that would be far worse for your son than if he was able to spend it without ever having invested it himself.

It is my belief that we need to learn for ourselves and we won't do that by having our parents do everything for us. Perhaps his grandmother believes that he is capable and feels that it is important that he is not treated as different. People with ADHD (especially) and or Autism do tend to mature a little later so perhaps talk to him about putting some or all of it into a more secure savings account that must be left untouched to mature so that he is leaving it and making interest on it til he's 21 or so. But I believe that it is important that this is your son's money then you must accept that and let him decide for himself what he wants to do for himself. 

We don't know your son so we can not make any judgment on what is in his best interests, nor do we know you, taking control of your son's money may be a way for you to control him, though I would like to think it's not. 

There are people in this world who have ADHD and Autism and they manage their own finances and there are neuro typicals out there who run them selves in to huge debts spending money like they will never run out. There are an impressive number of autistic self made millionaires - though its not happening to me any time soon. :) 

I'm quite sure that what I just said is not what you want to hear but I would not have been impressed with my parents if they had done what you are suggesting but at 18 I would very much have like the opportunity to lean about investment and I would have been very capable of doing so. I was also a very different person at 18 than I was at 14. 

I wish your son well and I hope his inheritance offers him a wonderful opportunity.