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Bedtime

Jemima86

My eight year old son is so difficult at bedtime. I’ve had all the usual excuses over the years but now he’s saying he’s scared to go to sleep in his room and he doesn’t feel safe. Is this just to get me to let him sleep on the sofa (my bed is in the living room) or is there a genuine fear there? This is not every night!

we have the strict routine and he’s allowed half hour on his iPad (one of his obsessions) before bed but then he creates, and if I try to make him go back to bed, as I’m tired and want to go to sleep, he goes into full blown meltdown. 
can anyone explain to me what’s going on with him and how I can help him?

ive already given up my big room for him so he’s got what he wanted and I now sleep in the living room. 
just want him to be happy and comfortable 

Parents

  • Are there any signs that he's not sleeping well even on his better nights? For example, getting drowsy during the daytime, or being extremely slow to get going after he wakes up.

    The reason I ask is that it is quite common for autistic people to have difficulty with their sleeping. Sometimes (as with myself), this can be because our body-clock gets out of sync with everyone else's day, so that our body and mind really just aren't ready to sleep at the usual times. Going as far back as your son's age, I would have many nights when I'd end up just lying awake for hours after bedtime, unable to get to sleep. This used to make me very anxious; partly out of frustration that I couldn't get to sleep, and partly because that's an awful long time to spend alone with only your own thoughts for company, which even as an adult, I can still find a bit unnerving. I got pretty good at pretending to be asleep and being very, very quiet so that I wouldn't disturb anyone else in the house, but there would be nights now and then when it would all get too much and I'd melt-down.

    Making excuses as a form of demand avoidance is certainly a likely explanation; but if there are any signs that he's struggling to get enough sleep, it is possible that he is genuinely very anxious about going to to bed.

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  • Are there any signs that he's not sleeping well even on his better nights? For example, getting drowsy during the daytime, or being extremely slow to get going after he wakes up.

    The reason I ask is that it is quite common for autistic people to have difficulty with their sleeping. Sometimes (as with myself), this can be because our body-clock gets out of sync with everyone else's day, so that our body and mind really just aren't ready to sleep at the usual times. Going as far back as your son's age, I would have many nights when I'd end up just lying awake for hours after bedtime, unable to get to sleep. This used to make me very anxious; partly out of frustration that I couldn't get to sleep, and partly because that's an awful long time to spend alone with only your own thoughts for company, which even as an adult, I can still find a bit unnerving. I got pretty good at pretending to be asleep and being very, very quiet so that I wouldn't disturb anyone else in the house, but there would be nights now and then when it would all get too much and I'd melt-down.

    Making excuses as a form of demand avoidance is certainly a likely explanation; but if there are any signs that he's struggling to get enough sleep, it is possible that he is genuinely very anxious about going to to bed.

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