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My 12 year old son does not want friends

NAS64118

My son has just started in Year 8 of a mainstream secondary school.  He is the only one from his primary school to go here and since he feels he lost all his ‘friends’ from primary school,  he is adamant that he will not make a single friend at secondary school.  He has managed to get through the whole of Year 7 with not a single friend.   One of his EHCP targets is to make 3 friends and attend one school club. However he has stated very clearly that he doesn’t want this.  The Advisory Teaching Service are telling me that when his hormones kick in properly, having a leas oe friend could save his mental health. But I wonder whether I should respect his wishes and leave him be? I’d appreciate any opinions or experiences that anyone has with regards to this.  Thanks. Anna

Parents

  • Hello,

    When I was in secondary school, I didn't have any friends. I really only had one friend that I kept in touch with after primary school. In secondary school, I  had acquaintances that I got on with. Unfortunately for me, a lot of the people that were in my classes were oiks that I didn't trust, or want to be associated with, because I knew that it would just cause trouble for me.

    Just give your son some time. Since he is only in the second year of secondary school, he may just meet a very good friend (Eventually).

  • in reply to CaliforniaDreamer95

    secondary school seems to be a minefield. I can’t imagine where in his future life he’ll be put under the same pressures as now. But I don’t want to limit his future by taking him out of the system if it can offer opportunities. It’s clearer to me now that any artificial friendship will be worth nothing much. Luckily he is still happy to talk to me and his Dad at the moment and if that remains the case we can be the support for him. He’s a wonderful person. I do hope he makes a friend one day though. Thanks for replying.

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  • in reply to CaliforniaDreamer95

    secondary school seems to be a minefield. I can’t imagine where in his future life he’ll be put under the same pressures as now. But I don’t want to limit his future by taking him out of the system if it can offer opportunities. It’s clearer to me now that any artificial friendship will be worth nothing much. Luckily he is still happy to talk to me and his Dad at the moment and if that remains the case we can be the support for him. He’s a wonderful person. I do hope he makes a friend one day though. Thanks for replying.

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