new to autism and cant find the appropriate advice

hi, I am new to autism so I am a bit lost. My son is 4 years old. He chooses not to communicate verbally although I know he is fully capable of forming words, maybe not long sentences. He chooses to spend most of his time alone in his bedroom, lost in his own world, playing with his cars, trucks and singing along to nursery rhymes on his ipad. He is a really happy kid, he only comes to me when he needs something which he will pull me 2 or bring to me.  He happily goes to school, although social interaction with other kids is non-existent. If another child tries, he will just move away. He will try to find small places he can hide in and play. He likes to run around in circles. Hes not violent, hes never shown aggression, he gets upset if doesn’t get what he wants but doesn’t cry much as hes easily distracted. Hes on the waiting list, but has not been diagnosed yet. I am still unable to potty train him, because he just doesn’t want to communicate.

I have been waiting over a year for a diagnosis, I thought I could get some advice online, but every page I visit, the type of autism being dealt with is the one where parents are struggling with behavior. Does anyone have or know of children in similar situations, am I over thinking and worrying too much? I know many parents have it worse, but I worry about his social wellbeing now that he is getting older and the fact he cant tell me anything.

  • I waited almost 3 years for my daughter to get her first appointment at the joint clinic and that was in may 2019 and they still couldn't give me a definite diagnosis for my daughter. My daughter is 5 and she is almost exactly as your son. She is very quite and will not speak in sentences unless she wants something but she is a different child when at school as she doesn't want anyone to think she has ASD. My daughter is not potty trained through the night and even during the day she struggles with going to the toilet. Potty training will come it just takes a while. With the social wellbeing I do not think you are over acting as I am the same with my daughter when she goes school she does not tell me what has happened and will just hide from all the other kids. I worry all the time when my daughter is not with me because she puts up a front when in front of her teachers and school friends and that worries me all the time.

  • Hi do you have a date for diagnosis or an appointment? Are you getting any support? My son wasnt diagnosed til he was 11 but showed signs from around 3 from what I can remember. He potty trained fine, he was a late walker. Later than my other 2 kids. I remember back then that he would never allow me to do fort him when he got hurt. He hated anyone clapping their hands. I don't remember a lot as he's now 15. His aggression didn't start til around 11/12. He's now on medication for it. Are you able to get help from the local paediatrician?