My 10 year old daughter acts much younger than her age.

Hello. I'm new on here, and would like some advice if possible please. My 10 year old daughter starts secondary school next September and I am concerned that she won't fit in because she acts so much younger than other children her age. She was diagnosed some years ago and she knows that she has ASD, and while it is quite endearing (sometimes) that she is still very childlike, I am starting to worry now that she won't have grown up by the time she starts secondary school, which will make her 'stick out like a sore thumb'. My eldest daughter, who is 15, just keeps saying that she will be bullied, which obviously isn't helpful. Does anyone have any advice please on how we can encourage her to act her age? Thank you.

Parents
  • It's very tricky. I remember being her age (undiagnosed) and constantly being urged to get my ears pierced, wear makeup, attend parties etc. Then at school I was painfully aware that the other girls had completely different interests. I wanted to avoid bullying so learnt to mask constantly to fit in.

    Even masking 100% of the time I never really fit in properly and I got very depressed.

    There was a group of girls at my school who were really into horses, cuddly toys etc and they were very much the unpopular group but I still envied them as they were proper friends.

    It might be that she finds a little group of similar children. Does the school have nurture groups? 

    It's really hard as a parent as we can't be there all of the time and we know that bullying does happen. But schools nowadays do have a duty to ensure all children are safe and happy so look into support now.

    I hope it all goes okay.

Reply
  • It's very tricky. I remember being her age (undiagnosed) and constantly being urged to get my ears pierced, wear makeup, attend parties etc. Then at school I was painfully aware that the other girls had completely different interests. I wanted to avoid bullying so learnt to mask constantly to fit in.

    Even masking 100% of the time I never really fit in properly and I got very depressed.

    There was a group of girls at my school who were really into horses, cuddly toys etc and they were very much the unpopular group but I still envied them as they were proper friends.

    It might be that she finds a little group of similar children. Does the school have nurture groups? 

    It's really hard as a parent as we can't be there all of the time and we know that bullying does happen. But schools nowadays do have a duty to ensure all children are safe and happy so look into support now.

    I hope it all goes okay.

Children