Being shot down for refereing son as my Auistic son!

I hadn't realised until now that I am in the habit of referring to him as my autistic son or explaining that he is autistic to casual observers.

It's usually to explain why he hasn't replied to their comments about his being so quiet, or sometimes to emphasise his abilities as a baker.

I think you are right to be proud of your son, so am I.

Thanks for the clarification.

I'm thinking that this person didn't know that you have an autistic son. In which case they might have thought that you changed the caption because of what your son was doing rather than because of what he is.

If that were the case then this would be a good example of why some people say that it is better to introduce our children as;

'This is my son who has autism.' rather than, 'This is my autistic son.'

The difference is subtle and in an ideal world the difference would not exist, unfortunately we live in the real world and that can be very cruel.

Hi,

I dont introduce my DS as autistic but I will always mention it in general conversation, especially after a positive comment.  For example:-

Checkout lady: My goodness your son is so polite

Me: Yes I am very proud of him

Checkout lady: How well he behaves sitting so quietly while you pack up

Me:Yes, he is so sweet and affectionate, and his autism makes him so much more precious

I am not excusing the days when he is on the floor of the supermarket screaming his head off or whining about me not buying his latest obession but emphasising that autism does not mean difficicult or stupid, just different.

I just would like people to see the positives, in my experience I wish I saw the world in my sons eyes, there would be no wars or fighting just happy people :)

Franks Mum

Most likely NT's find it similar to the 'N' word.

Consider black people use it together constantly.Also they get called it by freinds for a laugh usually.

No a real statistic, on average 84% of those in racial activist groups are the opposite race from those who are being defended. If you are unsure if he would like you to use it, ask him. If others are offended, they can quite frankly go screw themselves as it is not about them.

(Consider it as a vegan forcing you not to eat meat)

Justme - in that case that is their problem - they should have thought about how their original comment could cause you offense. i wouldn't worry about it anymore- it's for them to deal with if they don't understand. :)

and AUT1E, i think thats a really good idea, it clearly works well for you :) it may be something i suggest to my son. he may not want to do it now, but when he's older he might reconsider. thanks!

i have made my own branded badges and clothing for five years now, so am always 'introduced' as autistic

it has made things significantly less stressful for me because for that split second people check their assumptions before taking offence with me making interactions in shops etc. much easier and i don't cause unease when i avoid speech and eye-contact

most people are grateful to have had the 'heads up' and the opportunity to display their sensitivity skills

in this time only six people have mentioned it. two said "are you?", two said "that's a good idea" and two said "it's a shame you have to wear that"

www.flickr.com/.../

what is also important is that people don't have to give you your legal equality rights unless they could reasonably have known about a disability

here is my motorbike AUT1E

www.flickr.com/.../

the situation was a photo and i had a comment where some had said he was acting like i baby in the photo so i deleted the comment and changed the caption to my Autistic as an explantion why it looked like he was actging like a baby. When i changed it the person took offence!

Hi,

Well it's tricky...while i too am very proud of my son, i don't ever introduce my child as 'my autisic son' or 'my son who's autistic'. i only ever tell people who actually need to know. the reason being is that i do not want him to be known as the autistic boy, as he is so much more. unfortunately we live in a world which still doesn't know how to react to people who are 'different', and so i like to make sure he isn't treated differently to his peers unless he needs to be.

i agree that some people (especially family who don't accept a diagnosis of ASD) find it almost offensive, but it would seem that maybe there is more to this situation that caused such a negative reaction.

one word of advice...while it's ok to inform people of your son's ASD, it should be used as an explanation, never an excuse.

take care

Hi Justme
I'm sorry to hear about the problem you had refering to your son as your autistic son. I'ts great to hear how proud you are of him. were there any more details from the situation which could shed some light as to why some one else may have reacted the way they did?