Adult son without diagnosis - help please.

My son is 23 and at university studying a Masters in Physics. I am going to apologise now for the rambling post but would like to give all information.

When he was at primary school, the school raised concerns and he was observed over many months by an outside agency, they gave him a diagnoses of Aspergers and I proceeded to set in motion the formal diagnosis with doctors. However after the 1st hospital meeting my husband said he did not want to go forward with this and it was stopped (many arguments ensued but that is another story!)

I helped my son as much as possible, both his primary, and to some extent, his secondary school were supportive and we all worked towards helping my son manage.

Fast forward now to university, the first two years went well however his third year was difficult with quite a few meltdowns leading to him resitting this year. 

I have three issues:

recently his meltdowns have increased, mainly due to having to address situations which are unfamiliar but which he knows are important and therefore perpetuating the meltdown - these situations also include greater 1-2-1- interaction with his tutors for example presentations. These meltdowns have increased at home during the summer months and I am worried about him returning to uni.

The student support at university continues to state without a diagnosis they cannot help him over and above what they have already done - which is precious little.

My son has now agreed to go to the doctors but wants to do this on his own. I understand this but know he will not give the full story.

I don't know what help anyone can give me but I needed to get this off my chest and am hoping for something, anything. Thank you. 

Parents
  • i think its a very positive move that you son wants to do this himself. He wants a solution/diagnosis himself which is an excellent sign that he will manage his issues himself. The doctors are very experienced and where able to spot things in me immediately. Once he starts describing things a lot will come out. I recommend that he lists on paper all the reasons why he suspects he is autistic and bring it to the meeting so he covers all his issues. Include a list of family members if there are any.. The doctors (as in my case ) wanted to talk to my mother to get an early history. So you could help your son by having a list/history outline ready yourself. By the sounds of it you will be  key to his diagnosis. You know him best and over the most time.  Hope that helps.

    here is a link which helped me through an adult diagnosis, thanks thegirlwiththecurlyhair project.

    https://thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk/2014/05/18/getting-asd-diagnosis-adult-uk/

    search in the blog tab for "adult diagnosis" if the link doenst work

    your son is awesome and you have his back which is also awesome.

    aidie 

Reply
  • i think its a very positive move that you son wants to do this himself. He wants a solution/diagnosis himself which is an excellent sign that he will manage his issues himself. The doctors are very experienced and where able to spot things in me immediately. Once he starts describing things a lot will come out. I recommend that he lists on paper all the reasons why he suspects he is autistic and bring it to the meeting so he covers all his issues. Include a list of family members if there are any.. The doctors (as in my case ) wanted to talk to my mother to get an early history. So you could help your son by having a list/history outline ready yourself. By the sounds of it you will be  key to his diagnosis. You know him best and over the most time.  Hope that helps.

    here is a link which helped me through an adult diagnosis, thanks thegirlwiththecurlyhair project.

    https://thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk/2014/05/18/getting-asd-diagnosis-adult-uk/

    search in the blog tab for "adult diagnosis" if the link doenst work

    your son is awesome and you have his back which is also awesome.

    aidie 

Children