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Oooohhhhh i am so mad!!! very long..... sorry!

MrsP

Honestly the mood i am in at the moment i could rival my sons meltdowns!

I have a DS (6) - Mainstream - Dx of ASD (awaiting results of 3Di test to clarify exactly where on spectrum but assuming AS), some SALT difficulties, co-ordination and concentration issues as well.


As a rule my sons teacher ROCKS - she reads articles and shows them to me, his action plans are always above and beyond etc etc - i really got a good one.  On one afternoon a week ds's class has a TA take the class (Shes not a TA shes a student teacher or whatever it is) anyway, no problems actually like the woman (or i did!)

Yesterday after school my friend was picking ds and dd (aged 9) up for me from school - when she got there the TA had told Ds to wait by the steps (hes in an outside classroom - demountable?) of course he didn't! Cue when my friend getting there my ds is no where to be seen, my dd is worrying herself - cue all hell breaking loose and everyone going on a DS hunt!! Thankfully about about 5 minutes Ds's 1:1 found him and brought him back... bad enough yes?

The TA then proceeded to rip shreds of my ds, really went to town shouting at him about how he should do as he was told etc etc etc....... she then (this is where i get really mad!) demanded he looked at her whilst she was talking - this is a 6yo boy who rarely makes eyecontact - who was starting at his feet crying silently... being MADE to look at a TA so she could continue to shout at him...

I honestly consider myself a reasonable person, I am angry that they lost my son - but can acknowledge that actually she probably did little more than blink (he has a habit of wandering) and i would imagine that the shock of seeing him gone probably gave her a heart attack so i doubt it willl be repeated....... I am livid that she on finding him didn't check he was okay but instead proceeded to shout at him about his behaviour (ummm hang on, whose job is it to be watching who here???) but i am absolutely fuming that she demanded he looked at her...... There is that little voice that says the shock of him being gone and then returned probably meant she relied more on absolute instinct than any common sense but i am absolutley fuming!

I have today made a complaint to the headteacher and demanded she attends an autism awareness course before she starts ranting again about any other child as well as apologise to ds for shouting at him (i am more than happy for him to be told that walking off is wrong but for a child who struggles to understand emotion her reaction was absolutly damanging to him)......

Sorry just needed to rant!!! I honestly think im probably being more than reasonable (tbh if i had been there yesterday as opposed to at work it would be a whole new story!!) but even though the complaint has been done i just cannot let it go!

Would love opinions or even people telling me that wanting to go shout at her and then demand she stands there in her underwear (to make her as uncomfortable as ds was made to feel) whilst i shout at her is reasonable (i do know its not lol)

Thanks for listening!!!

Parents

  • Hi there.

    Like some others, it sounds like the TA was in a panic, hence her totally unacceptable behaviour. Shouting at a child in school shouldn't happen - it's a training issue as longman says.

    The eye contact is another kind of training issue and it unfortunately shows a complete lack of awareness. My son (now 11 with Aspergers) has been criticised for years for not paying attention in class. He tends to sit at the back with his nose in a book - but listening, so he can tell you what's been said. The book is his security blanket for the classroom and he feels safe hiding behind it - he takes one more or less everywhere. It's taken until last year for staff to realise and accept that he is actually listening in class and that having the book open is acceptable and actually helps him. This is despite us telling staff why he needed a book and that he was listening anyway.

    Unfortunately as ASD is a hidden disability, it's so much harder for the individual aspect of that disability to be recognised and accepted by staff. In my son's class in a child in a wheel chair. They haven't been nagging him to get out and join in PE for the last 4 years! In fact they've rearranged all the class rooms so his class can stay on the ground floor (and quite right too).

    So, what the TA/trainee teacher did was wrong and showed a severe lack of experience and knowledge. Unfortunately, it probably isn't surprising.

    All the best and I hope she has learnt from this episode - and that your son is ok.

    Hellsbells

Reply

  • Hi there.

    Like some others, it sounds like the TA was in a panic, hence her totally unacceptable behaviour. Shouting at a child in school shouldn't happen - it's a training issue as longman says.

    The eye contact is another kind of training issue and it unfortunately shows a complete lack of awareness. My son (now 11 with Aspergers) has been criticised for years for not paying attention in class. He tends to sit at the back with his nose in a book - but listening, so he can tell you what's been said. The book is his security blanket for the classroom and he feels safe hiding behind it - he takes one more or less everywhere. It's taken until last year for staff to realise and accept that he is actually listening in class and that having the book open is acceptable and actually helps him. This is despite us telling staff why he needed a book and that he was listening anyway.

    Unfortunately as ASD is a hidden disability, it's so much harder for the individual aspect of that disability to be recognised and accepted by staff. In my son's class in a child in a wheel chair. They haven't been nagging him to get out and join in PE for the last 4 years! In fact they've rearranged all the class rooms so his class can stay on the ground floor (and quite right too).

    So, what the TA/trainee teacher did was wrong and showed a severe lack of experience and knowledge. Unfortunately, it probably isn't surprising.

    All the best and I hope she has learnt from this episode - and that your son is ok.

    Hellsbells

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