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School Holidays

monkey19

I am really struggling these summer holidays. Last year during the 6 weeks holiday it was not so bad but this year my daughter seems to have become worse in her behaviour, its now got to the point where some of my family cannot cope with her and puts the stress on me to stop her from acting up but they don't seem to understand that I cannot control what she does and when and where she has her outburst. I am still learning about coping strategies and how to calm her down during a public meltdown. I have got to the point where I concentrate on her and give her my full attention and ignore the public eyes on me. During these holidays I have struggled as her autistic traits have become more noticeable as she does not have the routine of school. Days out have become harder as she does not like to stand for too long and becomes very loud when she does not like something. We have a bag we carry around with us that has a load of sensory toys that she loves but that does not stop her from going into a meltdown. We have a day planning board and this has helped her a bit but if its a plan she does not like such as shopping she will go into a meltdown.

How do you other parents/carers deal with the summer holidays? How do you deal with meltdown in public? What are your opinions about ear defenders?

  • When my daughter went through a phase of having a lot of public meltdowns, I found it easier to bear when she was wearing her T-shirt that said 'I have autism.  Thank you for being patient with me'.  I found that I would be left to deal with the situation and I felt more confident in the way I dealt with her.  All other people want to see is that the child's parent is confident and in control.  I got the T-shirt from a website called Zazzle.  I've only used it a few times.  I've had very good experiences of being allowed to get on with my parenting without judgemental looks or uninformed suggestions.  I tried ear defenders for my daughter, but she dismantled them!  If she needs to protect her ears she'll hum and cover them.  She can do this with one arm which gives her one hand free.  She'll cover her right ear with her left hand, with her left arm going over her head, so her left shoulder presses against her left ear.  If I had persisted with the ear defenders, she may have become reliant on them.. She has found her own way to handle noises she doesn't like.  Getting her to do something she doesn't like is tricky, but I've found 'First [unpleasant task], Then [fun thing]' works quite well most of the time, eg First Dog Walk, Then smarties.  I don't know how to help with regards your family.  My Dad's wife hasn't barred my daughter from her house, but she's been so unwelcoming and unwilling to help I no longer take my daughter around to her house.  All of my other family members are fabulous and have really made efforts to make her feel welcome and relaxed and loved and safe.  All I can suggest is don't waste too much time and energy getting upset about your family/ trying to explain yourself and your daughter to them.