Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there. Our six year old son has just received a diagnosis of autism (it's been a long old process). We have awful problems with his diet; he used to eat a really wide variety of food until he was about 4. Now all he will eat is milk loaf with either nutella or peanut butter (he eats this rarely now), cheese straws, pain au chocolate, crackers and sweets. He refuses to eat fruit - up until recently he would eat raspberries. I'm at my wits end. When I try to encourage him to try new foods he just point blank refuses and also refuses any further mention of the subject. Does anyone have any suggestions. He is extremely stubborn and if he says no then that's the end of the matter as far as he's concerned. I've tried everything I can think of and nothing seems to work. I really feel as if I'm failing him and this contributes to my depression. Any help gratefully received.
Food can be a major issue for many autistics. I have a very restricted diet but as a vegetarian exist off vegetables, beans and lentils so am still able to eat a balanced diet. My brother has always existed off chicken sandwiches. I've also worked with an autistic who can't join in during catered lunches as the smell of even buffet food repulses him.
I have a lot of sensory needs around food e.g won't eat wet bread so anything like sauces, butter, mushroom toppings etc are a no go. I also can't eat if I'm anywhere near the smell of meat cooking - this has impacted on the people I'm able to enter a relationship with as I'm only able to cope with a OH whose able to eat the same as me - if they wanted to cook meat based meals at home I'd be unable to eat for a lot of the day and this makes many rooms near where the cooking happened no go zones for a long time whilst the smell lingers.
I agree that you shouldn't put any pressure on your son but also that you should accept he might always be like this with food. I recently purchased some lentil and cauliflower kebabs from Sainsbury's but the pressure of trying something unfamiliar, although I'd like to, meant they ended up in the bin, I'm 35. Peer pressure has never been an issue for me and I've often met people after the group have had a meal so that I can stick to the usual time that I eat, plus I don't have to cope with the anxiety of asking for a special meal to be made for me as the menu's often unsuitable.
I'd let your son eat what he wants but leave him small portions of the food you're having, or picky food such as fruit, as an optional extra for him to try if he'd like to. This enables him to be in control of the situation, which is likely to make him more open than if you force him. I've heard a lot of autistic children live off a beige food diet and this certainly was the case for me.