Hi all,
Never used anything like this before but if someone knows something or someone that can help then I'm going to give it ago.
I am a single parent of a 19year old who has ASD, ADHD, SLD. For the last 11 years he has shown aggression and challenging behaviour. There is always a reason and he doesn't do it for nothing. It usually stems from anxiety and frustration. He left school in July but because Adult Services were useless he still is in no placement. We didn't have an adult SW until after his 18th birthday and then it took them ages to get there butts in to gear. I have had to fight them about the provision he needs, the funding he needs and the amount he needs.
The problem they have helped to create is that now he doesn't want to go anywhere. He is attacking my parents who we live with. He is part of our family and all we want is the support he deserves. All Adult Services want is for him to slip up to try to put him in to care like they've tried to do before.
His behaviour is scary and can be out of control. He is on medication and has just been perscribed diazpan on top of his norm tablets. He is very complex but he is also very able and is far from stupid. The so called professionals talk in front of him and he has picked up on that they want him to stay away from home. He is petrified but this then turns to anxiety which turns to challenging behaviour. When he is not anxious for short times he is funny, comical, caring and has an amazing personality. He doesn;t want to hurt anyone and after an event he doesn't know why but says his head hurts. The problem is once he has done something he remembers it for a long long time and repeats the behaviour because he can't forget it.
We love him so much and just want someone to help. Does anyone have any ideas or has ben through similar and found anything that helps? We have tried Osteopathy, Irlem lenses, medication, social stories, timetales, CAMHs. We have now got to the point where we are afraid to tell any of the professionals anything for fear.They really are offering no support but just waiting for him to slip up. Its a devastating situation to be in. I gave up my job to care for my son only to told by the head of our local authority that its tough because that was my choice and he went on to tell me to "play the game".
I know no one has a magic wand but would appreciate any ideas.
