My son wanting/ trying to be 1st all the time

My son is 7, he has high functioning autism. This past year he's started to be obsessed with having to be first for nearly everything, if it's getting down the stairs first before his little brother, brushing his teeth first, getting out the car first, getting to the school gate first, putting his school book on the top of the pile first, being first in the line at school, etc etc, the list could go on.

It's been a big issue at school, and at home, but mainly school. I've tried everything I can think of, read up on things, asking for advice from professionals, googling stuff, and nothing seems to work. My last attempt was a book I've just purchased called "ME first" by Helen Lester, couple of parents recommend it, saying it helped their autistic child, so I thought it was worth a try, day 1 reading the book at bed time tonight, and he never said anything just took himself to bed, was a little surprised. It was mentioned to read the book for about a month, so my plan is to do it over the summer holidays. Is anyone else going through this? 

Another issue at school is sharing, my son gets obsessed with items or his belongings, he likes his own space. He doesn't want to share what he's been given to use in a group for his work, such as cubes or counters. He has a little brother so we work on sharing alot at home, my son doesn't like big groups of children to work in, he would rather work with a couple of children. I don't think his school truly understand him or his teacher doesn't truly understand autism. Does anyone elses child struggling with theses issues. Feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. 

Parents
  • I am exactly in the same boat, totally get you. My son is 5 years old. He wants to win in everything, everything is  a race for him. School is understanding about it.  They let him lead the line in to the classroom but it's such a struggle. Sports day was really hard, he had meltdown when he didn't win the sack race and the date went downhill. He is being assessed but hasn't received a formal diagnosis yet. 

    I sometimes feel it's not fair on my daughter (6 years old) or for that matter the other kids at school but there's only so much you can do. He used to get really upset and would refuse to go in the school if his sister went in the school gates first or pushed the button for traffic lights first, then on advice of SSS I drew a chart for him with days of the week and days he would go in first (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and days his sister would go in first (Tuesday and Thursday), deliberately gave him more days and on the days that he would let my daughter goes in first, he could choose what he wants to watch on TV. I went through the chart with him everyday for a half term before school started and it worked wonders, my school run has got easy. Maybe something you can try?! 

Reply
  • I am exactly in the same boat, totally get you. My son is 5 years old. He wants to win in everything, everything is  a race for him. School is understanding about it.  They let him lead the line in to the classroom but it's such a struggle. Sports day was really hard, he had meltdown when he didn't win the sack race and the date went downhill. He is being assessed but hasn't received a formal diagnosis yet. 

    I sometimes feel it's not fair on my daughter (6 years old) or for that matter the other kids at school but there's only so much you can do. He used to get really upset and would refuse to go in the school if his sister went in the school gates first or pushed the button for traffic lights first, then on advice of SSS I drew a chart for him with days of the week and days he would go in first (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and days his sister would go in first (Tuesday and Thursday), deliberately gave him more days and on the days that he would let my daughter goes in first, he could choose what he wants to watch on TV. I went through the chart with him everyday for a half term before school started and it worked wonders, my school run has got easy. Maybe something you can try?! 

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