Hi everyone,
I am new here, so I hope I have posted this in the right place, sorry if I haven't.
I have a little girl, she's just turned 2 1/2 years old, and since before her 2nd birthday we've been in the process of getting her help with her lack of speech and social interaction.
After a long wait we finally got to see the SALT, in their offices/surgery near us. After this initial visit, they asked to come around to see my daughter at home, and when they did, they said they were massively relieved as she was a lot more interactive and happy at home than when they met her at the doctor's.
However, long story short, they have told me that they think my daughter is on the autistic spectrum. This was about 3 weeks ago now. My partner and I had already discussed autism due to obviously raising our daughter for 2 1/2 years, we noticed things about her that weren't just a lack of speech, but a general lack of communication (doesn't point, wave or follow requests, had little eye contact - but is a very happy girl none the less - except for explosive tantrums that nearly had me in tears, but that's another story!)
Anyway, my daughter has yet to be properly assessed for autism, as I think she needs to be three before they do that. Although being told this about our daughter did not come as a shock, it was still sad for us to hear the news from the horses mouth so to speak. For me it was when the SALT mentioned DLA that it really hit me - I hadn't thought of it as a disability before (not as far as my daughter was concerned I mean) and despite me working for a company that makes inclusive products, the words DLA just hit me like "oh this is very real now" - not just a stubborn, aloof and tetchy child.
As much as this news was hard for us, the worst thing that has just happened is that our landlord has asked us to move out as they want to re-do our house and rent it out for much more than we can afford. Our house was pretty much the cheapest in our area, being about £150-200+ less than everything else on offer and this has left us having to reluctantly leave our happy home by the end of this month (this happened in early September).
This is what I'm looking for advice about - we've applied for social housing, as we would be able to afford that, however the housing association for our area is refusing to offer us a 3 bedroom house - house being the important bit - as we would be under occupying it. This is nothing to do with the bed room tax that is due to come in April on our behalf, as we can afford the rent on a social house (it's 1/2 what the private houses are in our area).
I have written to the people highest up in the housing association to clarify why we can't apply for a house, mainly because there are so few 2 bed social properties in our area - therefore our chances of getting anything are so slim, we're left with the prospect of moving into my parent's house with them, my brother, me, my partner, daughter and three cats - into a 3 bed terrace house.
I have argued that we are in dire need, I have also argued that due to my daughter's condition we actually do need extra space and definitely need a garden for her, as she just climbs the walls inside the house - but I'm getting nowhere. She doesn't like normal toys, just books (we have 100s of books for her that take up so much room) also balls and musical instruments, not to mention water and sensory stuff like sand... but with 2 bed properties they're basically flats, so no outside space.
This is a very complicated situation that I probably haven't explained properly or fully, but I don't know, I just need some help right now. We've been told by the housing association we can move out of our area (to another association) and have a better chance of getting a house, but that will be 5 miles away and we don't have a car - nor do we at this time use public transport because we honestly can't afford it (will be about £88 a month for bus passes) - my partner walks to work about 10 minutes away and I walk my daughter to her nursery she attends to help her with her social and speech development (which costs us so much every month, it's left my partners NHS band 2 wage at less than national minimum wage due to salary sacrifice).
I just want to be able to stay in the area where I've lived pretty much all my life, (lived 5 miles away untill I was 5) and I'm now 30, raising a child with what I now understand to be a disability is so much hard work, and has been since she was a baby. I feel like I'm being left with no options. Maybe we could rent a private house and get housing benefit on say £750-800 month, but I just wish I didn't have to do that. Not only would we be able to afford only £330 a month for social housing, but I wouldn't have to fear being moved out again in a years time like what we're going through right now.
We've settled down, decorated, cleaned up a dump of a rental house and made it a home, then we get given 2 months to get out even though we've paid the rent and been brilliant tenants. I fear my daughter's reaction to never returning "home" again - she doesn't understand what I'm saying to her, I can't reason with her or explain that home will now be somewhere else. Worst of all, we may move somewhere that we have to move from again in a year, and we'll have to go through all this again.
My family is so unhappy right now. I'm the process of applying for DLA and writing letters to my MP and corresponding with the housing association, we're waiting for a home health assessment to get extra priority, but because my area is now so popular due to an influx of professionals, there's now no room for us, nor can we afford to privately let.
I'm so confused, I've had about enough of this year, it's been the worst year of our life as a family. I just want stability, safety for my daughter and our family.
