Waiting for first appointment

Hello,

I've just joined the forum and have read a few other recent threads but not explored the archives properly yet. My son is nearly 3 and has been referred to the community paediatrician. He was referred because our HV thinks he's showing autistic traits. It was picked up at his 2 year review, but it's taken a while to get the ball rolling. 

His dad is also awaiting a diagnosis. The GP referred him for a pre-screening appointment with the local Aspergers centre. The lady there said that results of his questionnaire and the interview strongly suggest that he is on the autistic spectrum. There's now a long wait for the appointment with the psychologist who is qualified to actually diagnose.

I'm finding things quite hard - one day I'm 99% convinced that my son is on the spectrum, the next I feel like I'm wasting everyone's time and it's just normal toddler behaviour and I feel like I'm being disloyal for seeking medical help.

I also don't really know what to expect from the appointment with the paediatrician - the HV said they will mostly be asking us questions about our son and our answers will probably decide whether there are further referrals or if he gets discharged. My husband doesn't think that there's anything to worry about and is quite defensive about it. He is going along with the referral to keep me happy, but I know at the start he was very upset that I wanted to pursue this. If we are giving conflicting interpretations of things, will that muddy things with the paediatrician or are they used to this? 
Does anyone who has been through the process have any advice to offer?
Thanks!
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