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Need advice

Mand

I feel I really need some advice here. I have a 4 year old boy who was recently diagnosed with A.s.d. I'm having issues with his school, he had problems all through nursery, formost of the year he was only able to attend 2 hours per day as the teacher 'couldn't cope' with him for the reset of the time. Since being statmented and funded he has had a  one to one teaching assistant/support worker who he has been doing really well with, I have received nothing but praise this school year and the change in him has been marked. However this week a new disciplinary method! The thinking chair, was implemented and he has struggled with it, yesterday the situation escalated into him having a meltdown, hitting his teacher and 'throwing' his chair, I was called into school to be told they he was being excluded for 2 days for assaulting a teacher as he had seriously breeched disciplinary procedures, my son was by this time visibly upset, apologising to teacher, saying I'm sorry I love you and now has no clue why he can't attend school, the teacher he Assulted has no worries about continuing to teach him and is unintimidated by him, I feel the school had to send him home that day but to exclude a 4 year old for assult was in my mind too far given the situation. I can appeal this decision but don't think I will get anywhere with the a school goveners feel very helpless. 

Parents

  • hi Mand - very hard on a 4 yr old being accused of assault!!  And hard on his mum too.   This shows that the school hasn't a gd enough understanding of asd.  The right environment is v important.  My son, who's now an adult, has had times when the wrong environment has been detrimental to him, making him unhappy, anxious + distressed.  This in turn caused me to become v anxious, sometimes for long periods of time, sleepless nights etc, wondering when the phone wd nxt ring.  Generally because those with him either didn't understand at all or had only a partial understanding of autism.  I've found it's difficult to explain asd to those who are unknowledgeable about it.  Perhaps, just a thought, if your sw is knowledgeable, cd they play a part in helping to enlighten the staff?  Do you think this school is the best place for your son?   His teaching assist. sounds gd, but how wd it be if she left + her replacement didn't hit the mark?  Not trying to be a nag, but I've relied on 1 really gd person in the past on more than one occasion + it's not enough in the longer run.  I;ve had situations similar to yours where my son's been distressed + apologising + confused + saying he loves the person who's the one who actually upset him in the 1st place.  I find that incredibly sad + it illustrates his vulnerability.  I don't know what the school governors are like.  Wd some be more sympathetic than others.....wd an appeal be a way of raising the whole issue of how the school educates children with asd?  You know + I don't.  Just a few thoughts.  Another thing - we often learn the hard way.  I've spent a lot of time, energy + emotion working with staff not trained in asd to try + raise their awareness, instill the basics etc.  Generally speaking, nothing or not much changed, despite my efforts.  In the end we got autism specific staff + changed my son's environment.  It made a big difference to him.  Your son + mine are different individuals, so I'm not saying what you shd do  - that's your business.  I  just throw in these comments as food for thought.  Been around too long!!  bw

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  • hi Mand - very hard on a 4 yr old being accused of assault!!  And hard on his mum too.   This shows that the school hasn't a gd enough understanding of asd.  The right environment is v important.  My son, who's now an adult, has had times when the wrong environment has been detrimental to him, making him unhappy, anxious + distressed.  This in turn caused me to become v anxious, sometimes for long periods of time, sleepless nights etc, wondering when the phone wd nxt ring.  Generally because those with him either didn't understand at all or had only a partial understanding of autism.  I've found it's difficult to explain asd to those who are unknowledgeable about it.  Perhaps, just a thought, if your sw is knowledgeable, cd they play a part in helping to enlighten the staff?  Do you think this school is the best place for your son?   His teaching assist. sounds gd, but how wd it be if she left + her replacement didn't hit the mark?  Not trying to be a nag, but I've relied on 1 really gd person in the past on more than one occasion + it's not enough in the longer run.  I;ve had situations similar to yours where my son's been distressed + apologising + confused + saying he loves the person who's the one who actually upset him in the 1st place.  I find that incredibly sad + it illustrates his vulnerability.  I don't know what the school governors are like.  Wd some be more sympathetic than others.....wd an appeal be a way of raising the whole issue of how the school educates children with asd?  You know + I don't.  Just a few thoughts.  Another thing - we often learn the hard way.  I've spent a lot of time, energy + emotion working with staff not trained in asd to try + raise their awareness, instill the basics etc.  Generally speaking, nothing or not much changed, despite my efforts.  In the end we got autism specific staff + changed my son's environment.  It made a big difference to him.  Your son + mine are different individuals, so I'm not saying what you shd do  - that's your business.  I  just throw in these comments as food for thought.  Been around too long!!  bw

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