I don't know what to do anymore

I have a son who is 8yrs old. He is in the process of assessment for ADHD and ASD. I simply don't known what to do any more to help him. Waiting times for appointments with the relevant NHS team in our area are approximately 2 - 3 years and we are 1 year down the line. I recently spoke with a clinical psychologist who said that we are doing 'all the right things' to support our son and that we just need to keep doing them while we wait. 

He is in mainstream education  and the school are doing their best to meet his needs but he is becoming increasingly angry, frustrated, oppositional and defiant. He will throw chairs, tables etc. Screams and shouts. Tries to escape from school.  Physically hurts his younger sister. Tells us that he hates us. Steals. Struggles to maintain friendships. Has epic meltdowns and tells us that he wants to leave because he ruins everything and will never have a happy life. He is also articulate, funny, outgoing and imaginative with a huge heart. Desperately wants friends and to feel accepted. 

My husband is also neurodiverse and struggles with managing my son's behaviours so the bulk of responsibility falls to me. We have no family support network close by and I work full time in a senior position. I am the main breadwinner for the family. We are struggling financially. 

I am losing hope. Am exhausted and sad. Feel stuck and none of my friends with children understand because their kids are all neurotypical. 

I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Im not depressed but I am despairing. I love my son desperately and want the best for him but can't see us ever having a 'normal' family life.

Parents
  • Hey - relax

    It will all be ok.

    Your son is just adjusting to the world as he sees it.

    Just as you are stressing now, so is he.

    It's all going to be ok, though

    Nature does not make mistakes.

    You're doing ace as a mom. He's doing ace as a son.

    Financially, we all struggle, no matter what we do, or how we do it.

    It will not happen overnight, but it will get better. Jigsaw pieces falling into place, you know what I mean?

    Deep breath, carry on. It will get better.

    Give yourself some of the love that you give to your family that you so obviously love.

    And know that you are not alone in feeling so helpless.

    We all do, frequently.

    You are beautiful, and are doing all the right things. From washing socks to crying over missed appointments, that is what  being a mother is all about.

    Good luck to you.

    It will all be ok.

Reply
  • Hey - relax

    It will all be ok.

    Your son is just adjusting to the world as he sees it.

    Just as you are stressing now, so is he.

    It's all going to be ok, though

    Nature does not make mistakes.

    You're doing ace as a mom. He's doing ace as a son.

    Financially, we all struggle, no matter what we do, or how we do it.

    It will not happen overnight, but it will get better. Jigsaw pieces falling into place, you know what I mean?

    Deep breath, carry on. It will get better.

    Give yourself some of the love that you give to your family that you so obviously love.

    And know that you are not alone in feeling so helpless.

    We all do, frequently.

    You are beautiful, and are doing all the right things. From washing socks to crying over missed appointments, that is what  being a mother is all about.

    Good luck to you.

    It will all be ok.

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