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is this it for the rest of our lives?????

mummy of 3

Hi all our son was diagnoised last year at the age of 6 with ASD after fighting for nearly 4 years for help. He went through a stage of being aggressive towards me physically around 4 years old after 6 or so months it gradually stopped unfortunatley now the aggression has come back ten fold and hes now 8 and nearly as tall as me. I cant control him when hes aggressive towards me as i just dont have the strength. His temper is out of control he gets angry over everything and then he starts thrwoing things at me or running at me to hurt me. We have a 4 yr daughter and 11 month old baby son and he is so aggressive towards his sister ive had to explain to the school the marks on her body because of him. We have no support from anywhere.No family who is willing to get involved they all just think hes a naughty child and we have no professionals who want to help we have called so many people but we just get told " your doing fine just carry on" or "the goverment cutbacks mean we cant help you". Im at my witts end im crying all day everyday im scared of my own son and im scared for our daughters safety around him. My husband works 50 hours a week and he tries his best to help but hes finding it hard watching me struggle and being upset all the time. Ive had to give up work to be at home for our son but im missing work as it was my 5 mins of being me just me nobody else yeah i know that sounds selfish but its how i feel. Is this really how its going to be for the rest of our lives?? Ive always tried to see the positive side of the diagnosis but now all i see is the negative and no light at the end of the tunnel sorry to go on i have no where else to turn xx

Parents

  • Hi, I'm no expert and I know nothing about raising kids, so, sorry if I say something that you already tried.

    How "busy" is your apartment with the two younger siblings and everyone? Does the boy have a quiet place to retreat to? Not just "his corner of the room", but a separate place? 

    Because I was thinking, at around that age, I personally spent most of my spare time in the attic in the far end of a closet. I brought a flashlight and a book and some chocolate, and being in this quiet place with nobody moving and fussing around me was the best time of the day. If I hadn't had that place, I'd probably have become aggressive too (I was only aggressive towards myself, which is less disruptive).

    Of course it depends on the size and layout of the apartment whether that is possible... And I don't know him, just brainstorming here. 

Reply

  • Hi, I'm no expert and I know nothing about raising kids, so, sorry if I say something that you already tried.

    How "busy" is your apartment with the two younger siblings and everyone? Does the boy have a quiet place to retreat to? Not just "his corner of the room", but a separate place? 

    Because I was thinking, at around that age, I personally spent most of my spare time in the attic in the far end of a closet. I brought a flashlight and a book and some chocolate, and being in this quiet place with nobody moving and fussing around me was the best time of the day. If I hadn't had that place, I'd probably have become aggressive too (I was only aggressive towards myself, which is less disruptive).

    Of course it depends on the size and layout of the apartment whether that is possible... And I don't know him, just brainstorming here. 

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