is this it for the rest of our lives?????

Hi all our son was diagnoised last year at the age of 6 with ASD after fighting for nearly 4 years for help. He went through a stage of being aggressive towards me physically around 4 years old after 6 or so months it gradually stopped unfortunatley now the aggression has come back ten fold and hes now 8 and nearly as tall as me. I cant control him when hes aggressive towards me as i just dont have the strength. His temper is out of control he gets angry over everything and then he starts thrwoing things at me or running at me to hurt me. We have a 4 yr daughter and 11 month old baby son and he is so aggressive towards his sister ive had to explain to the school the marks on her body because of him. We have no support from anywhere.No family who is willing to get involved they all just think hes a naughty child and we have no professionals who want to help we have called so many people but we just get told " your doing fine just carry on" or "the goverment cutbacks mean we cant help you". Im at my witts end im crying all day everyday im scared of my own son and im scared for our daughters safety around him. My husband works 50 hours a week and he tries his best to help but hes finding it hard watching me struggle and being upset all the time. Ive had to give up work to be at home for our son but im missing work as it was my 5 mins of being me just me nobody else yeah i know that sounds selfish but its how i feel. Is this really how its going to be for the rest of our lives?? Ive always tried to see the positive side of the diagnosis but now all i see is the negative and no light at the end of the tunnel sorry to go on i have no where else to turn xx

Parents
  • hi all thank you so much for your replies ive found some real strength in your words you have all made me realise im not alone and im not the only mum feeling like i do. Looking back now after reading your replies ive realised the signs were there from about 3 months with our son. He never liked people looking at him he would always cry even family members if they looked at him he would cry he never liked lots of cuddles just prefered to sit on our lap and be left alone and liked a cuddle when he felt ready. He always hated loud noises hoover, washing machine etc. I did put in a complaint against the play thearpist and ive told the school i dont want her to have anything to do with my son not now not ever which they have respected. I have screamed at my son before when i just didnt know what else to do and the look in his eyes broke my heart and he wouldnt talk to me for the rest of the day. I have a meeting with the school this afternoon to discuss new ideas on how we can get him and his sister to spend some time together. I to can no longer restrain my son when he gets violent i just have to let him throw things and try and move things and my other 2 out of his way. after we do sit him down and explain why his behaviour isnt acceptable and we let him explain to us how he feels. I just need to know im doing the right thing that things arent as bad as they seem. im doing the early bird plus course which im hoping will help me with my son and give me some confidence with him. this site is a god send and once again i thank you all for replying it really does mean alot to me xx

Reply
  • hi all thank you so much for your replies ive found some real strength in your words you have all made me realise im not alone and im not the only mum feeling like i do. Looking back now after reading your replies ive realised the signs were there from about 3 months with our son. He never liked people looking at him he would always cry even family members if they looked at him he would cry he never liked lots of cuddles just prefered to sit on our lap and be left alone and liked a cuddle when he felt ready. He always hated loud noises hoover, washing machine etc. I did put in a complaint against the play thearpist and ive told the school i dont want her to have anything to do with my son not now not ever which they have respected. I have screamed at my son before when i just didnt know what else to do and the look in his eyes broke my heart and he wouldnt talk to me for the rest of the day. I have a meeting with the school this afternoon to discuss new ideas on how we can get him and his sister to spend some time together. I to can no longer restrain my son when he gets violent i just have to let him throw things and try and move things and my other 2 out of his way. after we do sit him down and explain why his behaviour isnt acceptable and we let him explain to us how he feels. I just need to know im doing the right thing that things arent as bad as they seem. im doing the early bird plus course which im hoping will help me with my son and give me some confidence with him. this site is a god send and once again i thank you all for replying it really does mean alot to me xx

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