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is this it for the rest of our lives?????

mummy of 3

Hi all our son was diagnoised last year at the age of 6 with ASD after fighting for nearly 4 years for help. He went through a stage of being aggressive towards me physically around 4 years old after 6 or so months it gradually stopped unfortunatley now the aggression has come back ten fold and hes now 8 and nearly as tall as me. I cant control him when hes aggressive towards me as i just dont have the strength. His temper is out of control he gets angry over everything and then he starts thrwoing things at me or running at me to hurt me. We have a 4 yr daughter and 11 month old baby son and he is so aggressive towards his sister ive had to explain to the school the marks on her body because of him. We have no support from anywhere.No family who is willing to get involved they all just think hes a naughty child and we have no professionals who want to help we have called so many people but we just get told " your doing fine just carry on" or "the goverment cutbacks mean we cant help you". Im at my witts end im crying all day everyday im scared of my own son and im scared for our daughters safety around him. My husband works 50 hours a week and he tries his best to help but hes finding it hard watching me struggle and being upset all the time. Ive had to give up work to be at home for our son but im missing work as it was my 5 mins of being me just me nobody else yeah i know that sounds selfish but its how i feel. Is this really how its going to be for the rest of our lives?? Ive always tried to see the positive side of the diagnosis but now all i see is the negative and no light at the end of the tunnel sorry to go on i have no where else to turn xx

Parents

  • This forum is a god send.....

    Hi Mummy of 3,

    To reinforce the above, insist on help from agencies.  In my experience, they will always try to push back, until you find some one who empathises.  I too was told that it was my parenting style, back when our son was 5, three years ago and sent away with a flea in my ear!!!! I laid low for nearly 2 years, then at Christmas, our whole family unit nearly fell apart and we schlepped back to the GP and insisted on a fresh referral.

    You are not selfish at all, you are wonderful, trying your best and I am in the same boat as you.  Scared and wondering how Mark will be when I collect him.  He is violent towards all of us, my husband, our 10 year old daughter.  As we are the nearest and dearest, they seem to lash out at us.

    I have found out who my friends are in the last few years, some pity us, some just don't get it and some think of Mark as just plain naughty and I a mother that cannot discipine.  I've just given up work as well and although relish the time now available, we will struggle financially.  I would never have found the time to get onto this forum, for example.  

    Keep on pushing with the agencies/health authority/primary care trust, etc.   They want us to give up, as it will cost them less money.. I'm 41, have paid taxes for over 20 years, deserve the support and benefit of professional guidance.

    Good luck, keep in touch, keep strong... at least we all understand and I think this web site is very useful for resource, as well.  We are planning a trip to the Dentist and with the sensory issues involved Mark will be terrified.

    Any hints?

    Thinking about you and keep strong.

    Clare. xx

Reply

  • This forum is a god send.....

    Hi Mummy of 3,

    To reinforce the above, insist on help from agencies.  In my experience, they will always try to push back, until you find some one who empathises.  I too was told that it was my parenting style, back when our son was 5, three years ago and sent away with a flea in my ear!!!! I laid low for nearly 2 years, then at Christmas, our whole family unit nearly fell apart and we schlepped back to the GP and insisted on a fresh referral.

    You are not selfish at all, you are wonderful, trying your best and I am in the same boat as you.  Scared and wondering how Mark will be when I collect him.  He is violent towards all of us, my husband, our 10 year old daughter.  As we are the nearest and dearest, they seem to lash out at us.

    I have found out who my friends are in the last few years, some pity us, some just don't get it and some think of Mark as just plain naughty and I a mother that cannot discipine.  I've just given up work as well and although relish the time now available, we will struggle financially.  I would never have found the time to get onto this forum, for example.  

    Keep on pushing with the agencies/health authority/primary care trust, etc.   They want us to give up, as it will cost them less money.. I'm 41, have paid taxes for over 20 years, deserve the support and benefit of professional guidance.

    Good luck, keep in touch, keep strong... at least we all understand and I think this web site is very useful for resource, as well.  We are planning a trip to the Dentist and with the sensory issues involved Mark will be terrified.

    Any hints?

    Thinking about you and keep strong.

    Clare. xx

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