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is this it for the rest of our lives?????

mummy of 3

Hi all our son was diagnoised last year at the age of 6 with ASD after fighting for nearly 4 years for help. He went through a stage of being aggressive towards me physically around 4 years old after 6 or so months it gradually stopped unfortunatley now the aggression has come back ten fold and hes now 8 and nearly as tall as me. I cant control him when hes aggressive towards me as i just dont have the strength. His temper is out of control he gets angry over everything and then he starts thrwoing things at me or running at me to hurt me. We have a 4 yr daughter and 11 month old baby son and he is so aggressive towards his sister ive had to explain to the school the marks on her body because of him. We have no support from anywhere.No family who is willing to get involved they all just think hes a naughty child and we have no professionals who want to help we have called so many people but we just get told " your doing fine just carry on" or "the goverment cutbacks mean we cant help you". Im at my witts end im crying all day everyday im scared of my own son and im scared for our daughters safety around him. My husband works 50 hours a week and he tries his best to help but hes finding it hard watching me struggle and being upset all the time. Ive had to give up work to be at home for our son but im missing work as it was my 5 mins of being me just me nobody else yeah i know that sounds selfish but its how i feel. Is this really how its going to be for the rest of our lives?? Ive always tried to see the positive side of the diagnosis but now all i see is the negative and no light at the end of the tunnel sorry to go on i have no where else to turn xx

Parents

  • "A play therapist even told me it was my fault he has autism and that has stuck with me ever since."

    ....what the hell? Some therapist. Autism is something you're born with, not 'given'. Its not your fault. That moron needs serious retraining. If anything, keeping him away from others as a result of your instincts/depression might have helped him. If he doesn't like people, he probably thrived under the attention, as opposed to being forced to 'bond' with people which would only stress him out more.

    Any idea why he acts out at his sister in particular? I've always been increadibly hostile towards mine because intentionally or not, shes -always- the one to do the things I hate just to get a rise out of me and make me lose my temper. By targeting the things that set him off, no matter how small, you can start putting rules in place, e.g. if she does something that annoys him, rather than lashing out, he yells and goes to his room while you deal with it. Avoids the conflict, gives him time to cool off and lets you explain to your daughter why she shouldn't act a certain way towards him. And trust me, 4 year olds are smart enough to know how to push someones buttons to get attention. I have ten cousins, 8 of which I've had to endure when they were 4, and they're more intelligent and aware than people give them credit for.

    Good luck.

Reply

  • "A play therapist even told me it was my fault he has autism and that has stuck with me ever since."

    ....what the hell? Some therapist. Autism is something you're born with, not 'given'. Its not your fault. That moron needs serious retraining. If anything, keeping him away from others as a result of your instincts/depression might have helped him. If he doesn't like people, he probably thrived under the attention, as opposed to being forced to 'bond' with people which would only stress him out more.

    Any idea why he acts out at his sister in particular? I've always been increadibly hostile towards mine because intentionally or not, shes -always- the one to do the things I hate just to get a rise out of me and make me lose my temper. By targeting the things that set him off, no matter how small, you can start putting rules in place, e.g. if she does something that annoys him, rather than lashing out, he yells and goes to his room while you deal with it. Avoids the conflict, gives him time to cool off and lets you explain to your daughter why she shouldn't act a certain way towards him. And trust me, 4 year olds are smart enough to know how to push someones buttons to get attention. I have ten cousins, 8 of which I've had to endure when they were 4, and they're more intelligent and aware than people give them credit for.

    Good luck.

Children
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