Help with neighbours

Hi - I have signed up here for some help as we are at our wits end.

Our son is 13 with ASD. Over the years we have had various problems with our neighbours relating to his behaviour - toys going over the fence, looking over the fence etc.

Over the past 12 months or so, they have started to swear at him, stick fingers up at him and so on, and when he reacts they just get more aggressive. The situation got so bad they we contacted the police, and they spoke to both our son and the neighbours, and this seemed to calm things down a little.

However, our son's latest thing is that if the hears them in the garden - for example, at their dustbins - he will watch them from our window. This has now become yet another problem - when they come out into the garden they are straight away scanning our windows to see if he is there watching, and if he is, they shout abuse at him.

So, the situation we now have is that they don't like him being in the garden because he looks over the fence, and they don't like him looking out of the windows. We have just ordered some new window locks so that we can stop him opening the windows.

But we are beginning to feel like prisoners in our own home.

Are we being unreasonable neighbours and not supervising our son enough, or are we being bullied?

Help!

Adam, Bedfordshire.

Parents
  • You are being bullied.

    Yes your neighbours do have a right to privacy in their garden but your son also has the right to enjoy his garden! Also assuming that the people swearing at your son are adults that is abuse of a minor. 

    Do you own your property? Do your neighbours own theirs? I only ask as if it is social housing contacting them may be a good move as they are obliged to enforce certain aspects of tenancy like not abusing your neighbours children.

    I have put large fencing around my garden to stop our nosey neighbours. 

    Personally I would speak to them highlighting your concerns that swearing at a child looking out of the window is not acceptable ask politely for them to stop (sure you have done this already)  and if it continues contact the police and point out that they are targeting him due to his disability (believe that this falls under hate crime) 

    Has your son told you why he watches them? Maybe there is someway of helping him understand that they don't like being watched? 

Reply
  • You are being bullied.

    Yes your neighbours do have a right to privacy in their garden but your son also has the right to enjoy his garden! Also assuming that the people swearing at your son are adults that is abuse of a minor. 

    Do you own your property? Do your neighbours own theirs? I only ask as if it is social housing contacting them may be a good move as they are obliged to enforce certain aspects of tenancy like not abusing your neighbours children.

    I have put large fencing around my garden to stop our nosey neighbours. 

    Personally I would speak to them highlighting your concerns that swearing at a child looking out of the window is not acceptable ask politely for them to stop (sure you have done this already)  and if it continues contact the police and point out that they are targeting him due to his disability (believe that this falls under hate crime) 

    Has your son told you why he watches them? Maybe there is someway of helping him understand that they don't like being watched? 

Children
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