Children at different primary schools, eldest has ASD

Hi. I'm looking for advice really. As the title says we currently have two young children in different primary schools (not through choice) and the eldest has ASD (not yet formally diagnosed despite trying to get an assessment for over a year now - another long story). We think that moving him to his younger sister's school would be catastrophic and he wouldn't cope and there is no option for my younger child to move to the other school because it has a long waiting list. We've been told we don't qualify under the "exceptional medical and social needs" category because he isn't deemed bad enough, only being on the SEN register and not having an EHCP. We've done two schools for a year and it's put us all at breaking point and my husband is now severely depressed as a result. My son screamed for an hour today after I had to get someone else to pick him up because I was at the other school (I usually pick him up and ask a friend to get my other child). He's also getting anxious in the afternoon at school and being sent to sit in the office. People seem to feel that his needs are minor because they're not obvious but as I say it's left us at breaking point and we are not sure how to cope with another three years of this. Therefore I'd be very grateful for any advice!

  • Unfortunately I can't offer a solution, and this situation is not only limited to children with additional needs, a friend of mine has 2 children in the primary school my children attend she lives right on the edge of our catchment area her eldest was not allowed to attend our local secondary school as the catchment area for that is slightly different and it puts her just outside it! Her daughter was sent to a school 15 miles from their home in the other direction so there are 21 miles between the two schools and they all come out at the same time. She is appealing for local authorities to step in but so far has not been successful. 

    You may be able to get some advice from the helpline 

  • Hi there, 

    You may like to contact our Parent to Parent service who offers advice and emotional support to parents and carers of children with autism. This service is confidential and run by trained volunteers who are all parents themselves of a child or adult with autism .
    You can contact the team on 0808 800 4106. Please leave a message and the team will call you back as soon as possible at a time that suits you, including evenings and weekends. Alternatively you can use contact the team via web form: