Help and advice (potential diagnosis for my 8 yr old son)

Hi all, 

I am looking for advice as I feel I don’t have anyone to speak to about this so here goes...

It all started when my son was referred to speech and language at 2yrs as he didn’t meet the standard level for his speech he was then discharged aged 3. 

In reception the teacher approached us about certain behaviour which he thought was linked to autism at the time this was making sure the books were in line in the shelf closing bin lid when walking past to be honest nothing was flagging at the time to us but it was schools concern so he then referred him under the social communication.

Roll on 2 years CAHMS gave my son an initial assessment but nothing flagged apart from his lack of attention, they referred him to take the assessment for ADHD and didn’t score on that either so he was fully discharged from the hospital. 

4 months later school, mentors, senco and speech & language specialist all sat in front of us completely disagreeing with the hospital for discharging him as they very strongly feel that he is Autistic. So we have fought him back into the system to have the ADOS assessment to finally get some answers - this took nearly 2 years and had this in jan 19 and there are no answers as he didn’t score again no red flags or should I say not enough. 

We feel our son is different, lack of attention, listening and understanding we are also finding days to be challenging and we can’t differentiate between the behaviour of a standard 8 yr old or is there something. Sometimes we feel things shouldn’t be so hard.

Sorry for the long post but I am desperate for some advice from anyone who is in the same position as me, does it mean it’s not autism and something else? 

Its been a very long and emotional road so far, any advice from you amazing strong parents would be most grateful thanks x