Overwhelming Abuse

My daughter is 12 and has been diagnosed with asd for just over a year now.  I thought things would get easier with a diagnosis but they just seem to keep spiraling down.  She got a placement in an asd unit at the local high school and now wont go at all and is saying that she wants to go into 2nd year mainstream even though she cant cope with the class of 4 pupils in the unit.  She honestly does not seem to get it that she would struggle to cope in a mainstream environment and is saying she will only go if she gets mainstream.  I am torn as thinking I want her to realise how lucky she is to have a place in the unit but she wont so at the same time I think let her try major stream and she'll soon find out how hard it is, then of course I feel guilty, I just want her to be happy.  She is always down about herself and talks about wanting to die as hates autism.  Everything I try is the wrong thing and tonight as I did t have the money to buy her a show online she went all "what's the point in living, and as parents you shouldn't of brought me into this world when you dont have lots of money's  we aren't rich but not poor either just have enough to live on which is more than a lot of people, I work full time and my husband (her dad) stays at home with her and she still thinks she has an awful life.  She is like Jekyll and hyde instantly and my husband is scared of her.  We often just dont know how to cope anymore.  She has a consultant psychiatrist who is brilliant however she wont engage with any therapies.  I always feel like something else is going on as well as asd however the dr says all these things are classic asd.  I just feel lost and no positive hope for the future, can anyone reading this understand....

Parents
  • Hi 

    Tinyexplorer has given some great advice and I would just like to echo that.

    It is really important that your daughter gains a positive view of her autism as tinyexplorer has said that is fundamental for her mental wellbeing. 

    My daughter is 8 and still awaiting assessment, she is in mainstream school and does have a few problems but school are making adjustments, she has already started noticing that she is different from her friends but we explain it in a positive way that everyone is different in someway and she just thinks and sees things a bit different. Not wrong just different we started showing her some videos by sara Harvey (not all suitable for children so check which ones if you look at them) they helped her to see other people think/ feel similar to her and it was a massive confidence boost for her 

    Have you tried asking her why she doesn't like the unit and wants mainstream?  is there a possibility of her visiting the mainstream school so she can see/feel what it is like, that way she can make her own mind up. Teenagers can be very stubborn the more you tell them they can't do something or won't like something the more they want it! 

    Did she go to mainstream primary? How did she feel about that? 

    Anyway try some of the material tinyexplorer recommended it really is important 

Reply
  • Hi 

    Tinyexplorer has given some great advice and I would just like to echo that.

    It is really important that your daughter gains a positive view of her autism as tinyexplorer has said that is fundamental for her mental wellbeing. 

    My daughter is 8 and still awaiting assessment, she is in mainstream school and does have a few problems but school are making adjustments, she has already started noticing that she is different from her friends but we explain it in a positive way that everyone is different in someway and she just thinks and sees things a bit different. Not wrong just different we started showing her some videos by sara Harvey (not all suitable for children so check which ones if you look at them) they helped her to see other people think/ feel similar to her and it was a massive confidence boost for her 

    Have you tried asking her why she doesn't like the unit and wants mainstream?  is there a possibility of her visiting the mainstream school so she can see/feel what it is like, that way she can make her own mind up. Teenagers can be very stubborn the more you tell them they can't do something or won't like something the more they want it! 

    Did she go to mainstream primary? How did she feel about that? 

    Anyway try some of the material tinyexplorer recommended it really is important 

Children
No Data