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Getting a diagnosis for my 15 year old daughter

NAS62477

My daughter is 15 years old and when she was born she was nine weeks early. She was given a diagnosis at two years old of global developmental delay and the doctors would never consider autism even though I thought she was showing signs. She had problems with speech and walking but with therapy these have improved. She has caught up really well and is in mainstream school. But since puberty there have been growing problems, she refuses to wash or look after any aspect of personal hygiene. She has panic attacks and is anxious a lot. She only has three friends and doesn’t want to socialise. She won’t give anyone eye contact. The school have been giving her SEN support twice a week but I don’t know if I’m making a big thing out of it or if it’s just normal. My second child is six and was diagnosed with autism aged three he has a EHC Plan and attends a special needs school. Any advice would’ve helpful

  • in reply to Plastic

    I don’t currently have private medical care as I only work part time and I don’t have the money to pay to go private I wish I did 

  • in reply to Boating_taxonomist

    Thank you we have a very rigid routine she has to change her shirt and underwear etc every day. I wrote an agreement out with what she said she would be prepared to do ie washing every other day and washing her hair once a week ( she has mixed race hair) and brushing her hair and her teeth every day but after a week she stopped doing it and it ends up in an argument because she refuses to do it. When she sees her dad he makes her have a bath and she listens to him it’s really hard for her to listen to me

  • Do you have private medical through your work?  It might pay for a private diagnosis if children are covered.

  • in reply to NAS62477

    Executive functioning issues (that is issues around planning and organising, initiating and staying focused, and keeping track of what you're doing) are very common in people in the spectrum, so that could also be a factor. It can be quite difficult organising yourself, and following through on doing even quite basic things especially when they're chore-like activities you've no interest in.

    Perhaps having a schedule would help? Having set days/times I shower/change my clothes/take medication etc (e.g. it is 'the rules' that I don't wear the same top for more than two days) is what really helps me muddle through doing it all (though I can't claim to always be successful; I've come to uni today in a top I meant to put in the wash yesterday and I'm fairly sure I didn't wash my face this morning...). If you can help your daughter put into place some strategies now it will really help her later on when she's more independent and needing to manage these things without your prompting.

  • in reply to NAS39248

    I can’t get my son away from the bath he would sit in it all day if he could. My daughter will reluctantly use baby wipes I feel like she will always find something more important than washing. She loves sprays and nice smelling purfume but she thinks if she puts that’s on it’s enough. She is at that age where kids make fun at her but it doesn’t seem to make a difference

  • in reply to NAS62477

    Alot of people do, some have the complete opposite! Have you tried moisturiser and cotton pad? It is the only way I can clean my daughter's neck 

  • in reply to NAS39248

    Thank you I will keep pushing it’s good to know someone else is have the washing issue to

  • I would suggest starting with gp or senco either of these can refer for autism assessment, don't let them fob you off make a list of all her traits and difficulties make it clear that a sibling is autistic and you feel she meets the criteria for referral.

    As for the washing could it be a sensory issue with the water? My daughter really struggles with this