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starting school nightmare

angelstace17

Hi,

My daughter is 4 years old, we're certain that she has asd but is yet to be diagnosed. We're currently awaiting a diagnosis so have had no choice but to put her in a mainstream school. This has caused no end of trouble and stress for me, before the summer holidays we had a meeting with the school so that they could gather all of the information they could about her, yet they chose to tell us they we're concerned about funding for half of the meeting... That was the first warning sign we had about this school but had high hopes that there would be a statement in place for her come September.

Then she started school last week, one day for half a day, upon which we recieved a phonecall the next day saying that they were concerned that a full day would be "too much for her" (yet she had no issues at preschool), that there wasn't enough staff to cover her as there was only one teacher in the afternoon and that it would be best for her to go half day. They made up some rubbish about her getting frustrated with another child (which she only does if they've done something to her first as she pays little attention to others at the moment) and that she was tired?! she was fine when she got home and doesn't get tired during the day unless she isn't mentally challenged! I've now had no choice but to put her in half day as I had visions of her being shoved in the corner while they taught all of the 'normal' kids. I've given up everything for my daughter, I've even had to take a drop in work title and pay as I couldn't bring myself to leave her with anyone else while I did the training and now that she was supposed to be in school full time I had arranged to do a training course while she was a school which I now can't do.

I would do anything for my daughter and I want what is best for her, but I know that this school is not it but I can't do anything about it until we get a statement which we might not even get and if we do it won't be until November. I've now been informed that I have to take her to the church tomorrow morning as they have a service, walking her to school which is just over the road is a living nightmare, I have to carry her as she will not walk anywhere and I'm not supposed to lift heavy things due to health problems, getting her to the church and leaving her there will just not be an option tomorrow so I'm keeping her home because she won't be looked after. I just want her to go back to preschool because they were amazing with her.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?? I hope I'm the only one that has had this problem but I very much doubt I am.

Parents

  • Hi angelstace17,

    I had some similar experiences when my son started school last year (also undiagnosed at the time). He had struggled at pre-school, but they had been fantastic with him, and he had settled down really well by the end of the year. However, when he started school, it was pretty much a nightmare for a while. He struggled with the whole change to circumstances and routine, the expectations with rules and behaviour, and was quite disruptive in class. He became aggressive in the playground particularly, as he just couldn't cope with the noise and all the children he didn't know. It was really tough to see him going through this, and also to deal with the school when we and they didn't know for sure what the issue was.

    He was also put onto half days after 2 weeks at school (fortunately I wasn't working at the time), and that lasted until Christmas. By the new year, the school had found a TA to help him in the afternoons, and he started full days. However, it still took a while for him to settle, and it was about March (when he got a new, brilliant TA who is still with him) when it started to get much better. By then, we had also had a visit from the Educational Psychologist, who gave the school a lot of advice and was very positive, supporting his need for a TA. We received a diagnosis of AS in May, and again, that has helped, so now the school can tap into autism support services, and we know a bit better what we can ask for. He doesn't have a statement (he's on School Action Plus), but I think we are fortunate that the school now seems to be supportive when they realise he isn't just a badly behaved child!

    I hope this gives you some hope and lets you know that you're not alone (if that's reassuring).

    Kitkat

Reply

  • Hi angelstace17,

    I had some similar experiences when my son started school last year (also undiagnosed at the time). He had struggled at pre-school, but they had been fantastic with him, and he had settled down really well by the end of the year. However, when he started school, it was pretty much a nightmare for a while. He struggled with the whole change to circumstances and routine, the expectations with rules and behaviour, and was quite disruptive in class. He became aggressive in the playground particularly, as he just couldn't cope with the noise and all the children he didn't know. It was really tough to see him going through this, and also to deal with the school when we and they didn't know for sure what the issue was.

    He was also put onto half days after 2 weeks at school (fortunately I wasn't working at the time), and that lasted until Christmas. By the new year, the school had found a TA to help him in the afternoons, and he started full days. However, it still took a while for him to settle, and it was about March (when he got a new, brilliant TA who is still with him) when it started to get much better. By then, we had also had a visit from the Educational Psychologist, who gave the school a lot of advice and was very positive, supporting his need for a TA. We received a diagnosis of AS in May, and again, that has helped, so now the school can tap into autism support services, and we know a bit better what we can ask for. He doesn't have a statement (he's on School Action Plus), but I think we are fortunate that the school now seems to be supportive when they realise he isn't just a badly behaved child!

    I hope this gives you some hope and lets you know that you're not alone (if that's reassuring).

    Kitkat

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