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How important is it to diagnose a child suspected to be on the spectrum?

Maha

Hello everyone, I’d like some advice regarding my niece. 

She is seven. My sister and I suspect that she might be on the spectrum due to some issues in her behavior. She gets very confused and overwhelmed when meeting anyone, including children considerably younger than her. She’s been in nursery then school since she was 3, but has not made a single friend to date. She does not respond to her name being called sometimes, she refuses to talk sometimes, she prefers to play alone rather than with her 5 year old sister, and recently her teacher complained about her sitting under the table in class rather than on her chair. When asked why she remains silent  and doesn’t give an answer. There are other things that we noticed.

Our main problem is with our brother, her father. To him she is perfect and there is nothing wrong with her and we are interfering in the child’s life. 

Now he is her father and we have no say in it, but we love her and worry, so what I need to know is: how important is it for a child like her to be diagnosed? Will it make a huge difference? Will she still be OK without being diagnosed? Considering the hiding under the table for most of the class time, and an incident on the bus only a week ago when she turned red, got very confused, look at her feet and pushed her body as far back as she could because a child (my guess is he was 2) smiled at her and waved his hand, considering this, can she manage without help?

Is it worth interfering in my brother’s decisions or should I just leave them alone?

I appreciate any input on this, especially with regards to the girl’s well being that is the main issue here.

Parents

  • I've just been diagnosed at 47. I think I can honestly say my whole life would have been easier had I/we known I had ASD from when I was a child.

    Think of it this way:

    • if she was dyslexic - would it help her if this was known and appropriate support provided?
    • if she was diabetic - would it help her if this was known and appropriate support provided?
    • etc.

    If she's on the spectrum, it's not a label... it's a fundamental part of who she is and the sooner this is identified, the better it will be for her and all those close to her.

    From "Very Late Diagnosis of Autistic Spectrum Disorder" (Wylie, Philip)

    Knowing that I was different to other people, but not knowing why, has done serious damage, and possibly irreparable damage to my self-esteem… Nobody, whether disabled or otherwise, comes into the world with poor self-esteem. The damage is done by other people through their attitudes and their reactions to us. (Beardon 2011, p.142)

    You probably need to start by addressing the gap between her father's understanding of what being 'on the spectrum' means and what it really means.

Reply

  • I've just been diagnosed at 47. I think I can honestly say my whole life would have been easier had I/we known I had ASD from when I was a child.

    Think of it this way:

    • if she was dyslexic - would it help her if this was known and appropriate support provided?
    • if she was diabetic - would it help her if this was known and appropriate support provided?
    • etc.

    If she's on the spectrum, it's not a label... it's a fundamental part of who she is and the sooner this is identified, the better it will be for her and all those close to her.

    From "Very Late Diagnosis of Autistic Spectrum Disorder" (Wylie, Philip)

    Knowing that I was different to other people, but not knowing why, has done serious damage, and possibly irreparable damage to my self-esteem… Nobody, whether disabled or otherwise, comes into the world with poor self-esteem. The damage is done by other people through their attitudes and their reactions to us. (Beardon 2011, p.142)

    You probably need to start by addressing the gap between her father's understanding of what being 'on the spectrum' means and what it really means.

Children
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