Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone, I’d like some advice regarding my niece.
She is seven. My sister and I suspect that she might be on the spectrum due to some issues in her behavior. She gets very confused and overwhelmed when meeting anyone, including children considerably younger than her. She’s been in nursery then school since she was 3, but has not made a single friend to date. She does not respond to her name being called sometimes, she refuses to talk sometimes, she prefers to play alone rather than with her 5 year old sister, and recently her teacher complained about her sitting under the table in class rather than on her chair. When asked why she remains silent and doesn’t give an answer. There are other things that we noticed.
Our main problem is with our brother, her father. To him she is perfect and there is nothing wrong with her and we are interfering in the child’s life.
Now he is her father and we have no say in it, but we love her and worry, so what I need to know is: how important is it for a child like her to be diagnosed? Will it make a huge difference? Will she still be OK without being diagnosed? Considering the hiding under the table for most of the class time, and an incident on the bus only a week ago when she turned red, got very confused, look at her feet and pushed her body as far back as she could because a child (my guess is he was 2) smiled at her and waved his hand, considering this, can she manage without help?
Is it worth interfering in my brother’s decisions or should I just leave them alone?
I appreciate any input on this, especially with regards to the girl’s well being that is the main issue here.
Hi,
Welcome to the forum, alot of the behaviours you are describing certainly sound like she may be on the spectrum,
Are school concerned with her behaviour? Maybe if the suggestion came from them your brother might be more open to it.
My partner didn't want our daughter diagnosed when she was really young as he didn't want her labeled but through alot of research he has realised that not only is she on the spectrum but he probably is as well, he is now frustrated at the length of time diagnosis is taking for her!
As for your question alot of people are not diagnosed until they are adults but have spent years wondering why they didn't fit on and struggle with things.
Personally I feel diagnosis early is better as she will not end up wondering why she thinks and feels different to others, It can lead to other problems with mental health such as depression. If she knows and has a positive view of autism some things maybe easier to understand.
What does her mother think? Would she be more open to discuss the possibility? There are alot of resources on this site that can help.