More than just autism?

Well, around 3 years ago our adult son was discharged from the early intervention team on the basis that there was no evidence of mental illness, rather of a condition, namely Asperger's.  At that point he refused to have anything more to do with services, so an autism assessment to get a formal diagnosis was out of the question.  This meant that the only way i could get an idea of what has been going on in our family was to have an assessment myself, leading to my own recent diagnosis.  

Now diagnosed I have access to the support that was previsouly denied because we had no formal diagnosis, even though our son's consultant actually signposted us to the organisation i'm now with.  When I'm explaining our situation in my own 1:1 support, the support worker has simply suggested that this is "more than just autism."  Fair enough, my own conceptualisation of the situation is that undiagnosed autism with a total lack of support led, almost inevitably to a host of other issues, some of which attracted various MH diagnoses. 

This leave me with a huge problem though.  Having been discharged from MH services and now feeling much more confident that a lot of our family issues relate to autism, I don't know where to turn as a parent.  This is actually the part of my life that is proving the most challenging for me.  So when a worker says, that this is "more than just autism" I feel as though the issues are being either pushed back onto me (and i'm really not coping very well at all, especially after all of this time and seeing no changes) or that they are being redirected, probably towards the very MH services that discharged us.  

This may well all be academic because our son won't engage with any services at all and then I bump into the argument that "He's an adult and needs to reach a point where he wants to reach out for help."  But we are struggling to cope and need support so where does this leave us?