Frustrated parent!!!

As others have said, this is the norm.  I had the same first child problem and didn't know he had ADD until he got suspended from school at 6!!  He then didn't get diagnosed with Autism until he was 11.  Where ever you live in the world with a public health service, it is not easy and the answers are limited.  We have tried everything and strong ADHD is not easy on the kid or the parent.  My only advice from someone who has tried everything (alternative approaches etc).  Do yourself and your son a favour and get medication.  Concerta is best because it doesn't lead to so many peaks and troughs.  Watch out if your kid is gaming however as in my child it led to epilepsy for a while until he learned better habits (don't game straight after taking a pill, don't do certain types of games) and grew a bit and the medication smoothed out.  It doesn't cause fits but it does lower the threshold for about 5%? of kids.  So just be aware. there's a small chance.  On the bright side, I don't think my son would have graduated school without it and the trouble they find themselves in and the vilification from peers does much more harm psychologically than the medication does. No parent wants their kid to take what is effectively amphetamines. But sometimes there are no good choices, just practical ones.  Also not all ADHD is severe enough to require treatment and some kids do effectively grow out of it so you need to make a call on depending on the real life behaviour you are seeing.  Easiest way to know if they need medication is to try it.  If you are seeing a whole different kid then they probably need it.  When my son took it the first time, I suddenly became aware that he had never sat still or quietly before.  Even when watching TV, he would be humming or hanging upside down off the couch or something.  Also trying it with schoolwork gives a good idea.  If he is suddenly motoring through some homework, you will know.

Thank you for replying his medication has helped but does cause a problem with food and sleep sitting still is better now but still no homework he just won't and it becomes to much for us all,  thanks for the information on gaming as he very much likes to but I will keep an eye on that 

Homework is more like autism.. It's a familiar problem as well. But to be honest it is feasible. My autistic children do a lot of it in spite of it being a huge uphill struggle, so there is hope,,lol 

Autism is a spectrum from mild to very serious.  ADHD for example is on the spectrum but if you research ADHD, you will find that there are different symptoms and 'types' of ADHD.  Autism even more so.  My son has been through school with what I am sure are 3 other spectrum kids and they all present differently with different strengths and weaknesses.  On top of that, some children have other mental health or neurological issues.  

The hardest thing with being a parent of a non neuro typical child is that you never really know if you are doing the right thing. .  You can read books and that helps a bit.

Its all trial and error.  Eventually you'll be able to judge the B/S from the actual limitation.  Its quite hard for us to judge as with neurotypicals we mostly behave in similar ways.  With Aspies its different.  I used to think my kid was the most contrary, argumentative little monster on the planet before he was diagnosed with Aspergers. He was exasperating, maybe had ODD.  A casual comment from my sister made me get him tested and now I understand that the vast majority of questioning and re questioning and driving home a tangential point repeatedly is pure Aspie.  Looking at it as a neurotypical I was beginning to think he had a personality disorder.  Academically he was doing well and seemed to have some friends so him being on the spectrum had never occurred to me.

This might seem a silly thing to ask but do you ever feel really confused??? my son hasn't been able to go outside of the house with friends in forever, but he made a friend a year ago and went out for the first time last weekend with this friend.  I have been left questioning myself if maybe he is more capable and been not doing as much as he could because I'm to soft? ? 

This might seem a silly thing to ask but do you ever feel really confused??? my son hasn't been able to go outside of the house with friends in forever, but he made a friend a year ago and went out for the first time last weekend with this friend.  I have been left questioning myself if maybe he is more capable and been not doing as much as he could because I'm to soft? ? 

Autism is a spectrum from mild to very serious.  ADHD for example is on the spectrum but if you research ADHD, you will find that there are different symptoms and 'types' of ADHD.  Autism even more so.  My son has been through school with what I am sure are 3 other spectrum kids and they all present differently with different strengths and weaknesses.  On top of that, some children have other mental health or neurological issues.  

The hardest thing with being a parent of a non neuro typical child is that you never really know if you are doing the right thing. .  You can read books and that helps a bit.

Its all trial and error.  Eventually you'll be able to judge the B/S from the actual limitation.  Its quite hard for us to judge as with neurotypicals we mostly behave in similar ways.  With Aspies its different.  I used to think my kid was the most contrary, argumentative little monster on the planet before he was diagnosed with Aspergers. He was exasperating, maybe had ODD.  A casual comment from my sister made me get him tested and now I understand that the vast majority of questioning and re questioning and driving home a tangential point repeatedly is pure Aspie.  Looking at it as a neurotypical I was beginning to think he had a personality disorder.  Academically he was doing well and seemed to have some friends so him being on the spectrum had never occurred to me.