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Need some advice - DD weeing on floot

NAS62247

Hi everyone,

We have a wonderful 6yo DD on the spectrum. We have a few behavioural issues but in the main she is an absolute delight to be around.

We brought her 3 week old sister home last month and since then weve seen her act out a bit - ignoring requests, smacked mummy when told no and other instances but we have been patient and in the main we are not worried - she is full of hugs and kisses for her sister and given time and patience will all come good in the end. 

The biggest frustration we have right now is that last week she wee'd on her bedroom floor twice last week and 4 days on the run this week while shes been in bed/before we get up. She took to toilet training instantly at age 3, skipping the potty and straight away onto dry nights. We have had a few accidents when distracted but overall the way she took to coming out of nappies was absolutely amazing and surprised everyone.

She is mostly non verbal - we get words and phrases but in the main she likes to lead, so whilst we speak to her about this and try to reassure her, we cant get any response. We aren't too sure where to go with this. Obviously if it is a case of she cant wait/get our attention in time then the last thing we want to do is make her feel bad about it. If it is a case of acting out and trying to take back some control then how do we go about helping her without making her behaviour worse?

Of course this could all be a phase that will pass soon which has been how most of her behaviour issues have gone but for now her room stinks of wee and is leaving us frustrated with a new born to deal with as well.

I understand every situation is different and the fact that she is unable to communicate to us why she is doing it only adds to the confusion but has anyone else experienced this sort of thing? If so what can you suggest?

Thanks again, 

Daddy and Mummy Pig x.

  • Hi ,

    I'm sorry that you have had to deal with some challenging behaviour. Please see the link attached with some information from our website on approaches to toileting. I hope this helps!

    https://www.autism.org.uk/about/health/toilet-training.aspx

    All the best,

    Chloe Mod:)

  • I am sorry my autistic kids are not that young and I didn't have exactly the same problem. 

    I think you rightly worried not to reinforce this behaviour somehow while simultaneously not to create an impression that your attitude to her changed with the new baby. I suppose, as I am sure you know, that it is the reaction to the change, the anxiety, change in routine for her (you are now sharing your time between the two children for sure). So probably the best way is to de-dramatise this and focus on reassuring her that you love her all the same, she is just as important, that you have enough love for both children and you love is totally unlimited. That sort of thing. 

    Maybe consider whether there are any parts of her routine or support to her that was sort of hidden, you didn't consider explicitly, didn't realise, that you dropped (understandably) and now she really can't manage without, and see how you can adapt to meet that need while sharing your time in new circumstances.

    I suppose, not to reinforce, you don't want all or most of your attention to her to focus on toileting, so she could feel like it's the only way to get your attention, as I am sure you considered. Of course because it is so aggravating, it might come across that way. When my DD was struggling with potty training, I was a bit more focussed on it than perhaps was necessary, so when I relaxed, things just happened.

    I hope someone with more direct experience might come soon.

    I think the site where DD abbreviation is common will offer lots of advice.

  • in reply to Lotus

    Hi Pixie,

    Thanks for the suggestion but I'm not sure this would do anything to help here. As you said the issue would be getting her to keep them on. Also she has been dry for over 2 years and is fully capable of letting us know if she needs to go so I cant see this discouraging the behaviour itself. Thanks for the suggestion though :)

  • I don't have young kids but I have seen special night time pants advertised for kids who are still not dry at night - I know that's not exactly the problem, but it would keep the floor dry, if you could get her to wear them & keep them on?

  • in reply to NAS39248

    Hi,

    Thanks for coming back.

    Up until now routine was great - straight on the toilet when awake, again before leaving for school, when back from school and then last thing after bath/before bed. She has been really good at taking herself at other times and waking us up in the night if she needs to go up until now. We sometimes have to remind her to go if she's standing with crossed legs engrossed in her TV or something.

    The issue is that we are waking up to a puddle in the morning and she is not attempting to let us know which she has been really good with up until now.

    Hoping this is a phase that will pass when things settle but I don't want to let this become the norm.

  • Hi,

    My daughter is 8 and still has accidents hers are due to toilet fear so she holds it so long she wets herself.

    Have you tried setting a routine of going at certain times? This could eliminate accidents then you would no if it is her pushing boundaries, 

    My daughter also acted out a bit when my youngest was born but overall settled fairly quickly