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Newly diagnosed teen - desperate for advice about managing periods please

Ayshigirl

Our 14 year old daughter has been recently diagnosed with ASD along with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (and ADHD). Meanwhile, her periods started a little while ago,. She is highly sensitive and embarrassed and  in complete denial about it. She refuses to discuss it with me although I had been open with her about periods ever since she was tiny. She cuts me off when I try to speak with her about it. My husband and I have found hidden soiled pants and soiled pads in her bedroom. She refuses to let us into her room though and has frequently been violent towards us (police involved and stays in A and E) so we are understandably confused and nervous about addressing this with her. I have placed a fliptop bin in her room hoping she would put the dirty pads in but she hasnt. I told her what to do with the rubbish. I also left a note in the kitchen about stain removal and had a family discussion about what to do about stained clothes.I have also put pads in the bathroom so she can use them without  anyone else knowing.

Help! What should we do? If I simply take out the dirty pads and clean her underwear she will know I've done it and be furious. This has been going on for some time now and when the weather warms up it will be disgusting.

We'd appreciate your advice please.

Parents

  • I know this is not exactly an answer but I am 14yr old girl with Aspergers and I started my period at lunch today. I don’t know my dad for reason I don’t want to say so I live with my mum and older sister (she is 15) and I don’t know how to tell her I’ve started. How do I tell her?

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  • I know this is not exactly an answer but I am 14yr old girl with Aspergers and I started my period at lunch today. I don’t know my dad for reason I don’t want to say so I live with my mum and older sister (she is 15) and I don’t know how to tell her I’ve started. How do I tell her?

Children
  • in reply to NAS62912

    Hi, hope you were able to tell your mum.  If not, don't worry.  It isn't embarassing to us older women, so your mum won't be embarassed.  She will be expecting your periods to start and have been waiting to support you through it for a few few years. 

    The other person who replied to you is correct in her advise to just say 'I've started my period' or write a not etc if you can't.   

  • in reply to NAS62912

    Hello, you posted yesterday so hopefully there were some supplies you could use from your elder sister.  Just tell you mum “I’ve started my periods” just say it, it is what it is. Or tell your sister or write a note and leave it where she will see it.  Your mum will have been through this with your sister and she’s a woman too. It’s all okay, just say it.  Look after yourself and be kind to yourself x