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need help! struggling with aggressive behaviours from 7 year old.

NAS62164

My son has always struggled with his emotions, just recently he is becoming increasingly aggressive and lashing out at my and my daughter, he is self harm quite a lot to. head banging many but recently started pinching himself and leaving bruises. ive been through all the usual channels doctors school nurse CAHMS, its getting worse an im not sure how to handle at the moment. any advice or techniques would be most gratefully received. TIA 

  • in reply to NAS39248

    It worked today, I got him a small black tent so its dark inside he was getting upset so I encouraged him to sit inside, he was in there a few minutes and started to calm down, he has a peanut ball too so have bought it inside for him and is currently rolling and bouncing around the living room happily on it. thank you so much for your advice,

  • in reply to NAS62164

    Hi 

    The space my daughter uses is a small pop up tent, big enough for her to sit in with some soft cushions, I added a few pockets inside to store items when she is not using. It just has flaps at the front so she cant shut herself in but she can lower them which shows everyone she needs to be left alone 

  • in reply to Plastic

    he likes the top of his feet rubbed it seems to calm him down, based on how upset he is depends if I can access them without being kicked.

  • in reply to Plastic

    Hi, thank you both for responding, he enjoys youtube but when he is getting upset I take away the stimulation, our tv is always on mute, at certain times its has to be off altogether as he has visual sensory issues to, I never thought to substitute something else for his pinching, he enjoys walking on bubble wrap, myself and his 2 sisters live here they are always on their phones so its quiet a fair bit, i love the suggestions will try a squishy ball and bubble wrap, can I just ask does a sensory space have to be a big area or is a small space ok? 

  • in reply to NAS39248

    Yes - often the piching is a need to inflict control or damage onto something of 'just' the right texture - like people.  What about bubble wrap?  It's cheap and plentiful and very soothing to try to burst as many bubbles in one go.  What about a large wax candle to pick at?  (little nails dig in quite satisfyingly).  I'm sure there are lots of other 'people substitutes' to take aggression out on.

    The world is a stressful place so if a home sanctuary can be created then it's much better.   Then there's also how the rest of the family functions - is it a calm environment or is everyone shouting all the time?  (I remember my aunt's house when I was young - TV on, stereo on, dogs barking, parrots squawking, everyone shouting over the noise - I hated it and I felt shell-shocked afterwards.

  • Hi, My daughter is 8 and still awaiting assessment. She also struggles with emotions and gets aggressive and lashes out at her sister, she doesn't head bang but rips her nails off (fingers and toes)  we are currently working on what triggers it, for her alot of the time it is a build up of little stressors during the school day ( she masks at school) so all the little things just completely overload her. We introduced safe space with sensory toys as well as worry book that allows her an area to calm down get things out get herself balanced and this has helped a bit. She still jumps to anger quite quickly but we have noticed that she has a small telling stim that precedes total meltdown and this has allowed us to identify alot of things that were causing her problems.

    Sensory items can be a real help reducing self harm, if he is pinching maybe a stress ball or something similar to echo the movement of pinching? That way he still has the release without the harm, I'm still trying to encourage my daughter to tap her fingers rather than pull off her nails so far it is working 

    Good luck x

  • Hi - it sounds like a real nightmare.

    Do you know what calms him?  Any music, textures, activities or games that he can focus on? Does he need a lot of exersise to wear him out to 'calm the beast'?