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Help with my daughter's anxiety about new term at school

Leela

Hi,

I'm a new member , can anyone offer any advice about getting my 8 year old daughter into school in the morning? She is fine until we get to the door and then falls to pieces. she is 8 years old and has Aspergers Syndrome and Sensory Processing Disorder. It is making her so unhappy Frown

  • Hi,

    As crystal12 has pointed out, there could be so many possibilites as to why your daughter doesn't want to go in, and she may not even be sure what it is exactley. It is around this age that school becomes more damanding both socially and academically, and children with ASC have a double curriculum in this sense. It could also be seperation anxiety, the moment her security and saftey leaves her, particulalry at the beginning of a new academic year, this is difficult even for many NT children. My son who has Aspergers has been a school refuser on and off for most of his school life, he is now 11. I have put this down mostly to sepeartion anxiety as he is often fine for the time after I have left, but even when there has been other reasons there are methods which have helped if your child cannot tell you. Can your duaghter start off in another place prior to class to prepare her for the day, what it will entail, address any uncertaintys, or just to do something 'nice' with a support. If not can she go into class and feed the fish or go straight to do something that she enjoys, could she go in and start her day with a specific routine, such as putting a marble in a jar thatever you think is worth a try, convince the teacher so, they need to be far mo earn a reward? My son has found is so benficial to start school in another class room. September is a very difficult time, good luck.

  • hi Hope - there are so many possibilities.  Lyndsay has mentioned some important points to consider and you mention her maybe developing a phobia.   Any idea why she might develop a phobia?   If she can't explain to you then perhaps it's worth trying to look at the school day as if thru her eyes.  My son when he was 9 became unhappy at school for a few weeks but then cheered up again.  We never got to the bottom of it, apart from the fact he felt someone he was fond of had hurt his feelings.  He used to get wound up at a respite care facility he went to for a little while, far too excited, twirling around etc.  We changed to a different facility, a much calmer, understanding one and all that stopped.  Is she at a mainstream school?  bw

  • Or she might have taken something literally or the wrong way and have developed a phobia?

  • Hello Leela, have you tried asking your daughter what it is about school that she doesn't like? It could be that the classroom environment is too noisy or busy...If this is the case, then it could be helpful to talk to her teacher and maybe arrange for her to work somewhere quieter. Is she good at socializing? If not, it could be that she can't interact with other children and feels left out. Or because it is a new term at school, she might be unhappy with the change? I'm just firing out a number of possibilites why she doesn't want to go, but it would be worth asking her why she is unhappy going. I hope this helps Smile