To have another child or not?

Hello

I don’t know if this is too personal a topic but I just wondered how you felt or decided about having another child with the possibility of having another autistic child?

We love our son dearly and we don’t want him to be the only child but we just don’t know how to decide whether we have another or not as we read all different kinds of resources saying what the % of having another autistic child is but they all seem to vary from 4% right up to 20%. Plus we are both almost 40 years of age and I know that adds to the %.

Just looking to see how other people felt in this position

Julie x

Parents
  • Apologies in advance, but I tend to ask direct and difficult questions.

    How well do you perceive autism?   How are you finding dealing with your son?  Is it burning you out or is it a joy?  Is having a 'faulty' child damaging your self image?   How accepting are your extended family and friends?   How much time and energy can you give to your child?

    An only child is hard work because you have to be their playmate, parent, teacher, annoying older brother (to fight with them and knock the edges off) and mentor.  A second child can be good for the first child.  I've no idea about how much stress having more than one autistic child could be.

  • An only child is hard work because you have to be their playmate, parent, teacher, annoying older brother (to fight with them and knock the edges off) and mentor. 

    A single parent myself -- well expressed Plastic.  

    I am in my mid-forties now and would have loved to had had more children, it is with some sadness that that will not happen.  There is a certain amount of guilt (from my perspective) in being an aspie single parent in that you are very conscious of your deficiencies as well as your strengths.  My son now is nearly 15 and more independent from me which helps knowing that he is able to spread his wings in terms of friends and sociability without me holding him back! Slight smile

    Good luck with your choice and I agree with Plastic, your perception of autism is rather key.

Reply
  • An only child is hard work because you have to be their playmate, parent, teacher, annoying older brother (to fight with them and knock the edges off) and mentor. 

    A single parent myself -- well expressed Plastic.  

    I am in my mid-forties now and would have loved to had had more children, it is with some sadness that that will not happen.  There is a certain amount of guilt (from my perspective) in being an aspie single parent in that you are very conscious of your deficiencies as well as your strengths.  My son now is nearly 15 and more independent from me which helps knowing that he is able to spread his wings in terms of friends and sociability without me holding him back! Slight smile

    Good luck with your choice and I agree with Plastic, your perception of autism is rather key.

Children
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