Published on 12, July, 2020
Where to begin.....my daughter has always been “different” from my other children and finally last month the doctor agreed and said she is “text book Aspergers”. We are waiting for a full assessment/diagnosis to be given however in the meantime we are really struggling with her violence and aggressive behaviour towards all of us.
she hits, smacks, kicks all of us (mum, dad & older sister) she screams repeatedly when asked to do anything for herself and when she doesn’t want to something she will just do an ear piercing scream, sometimes for hours- and I mean hours, at a time !
We all live in constant fear of upsetting her and she completely rules our house and lives. We have numerous “calm down” strategies in place, sensory bag, bubble lamps, picture boards with her emotions on it but nothing is working.
at school she is super good, well above average intelligence and a model student but at home she is the complete opposite. I am aware this is often the case with girls who are Aspergers but when it comes to getting help and support it limits out options.
Pls pls can anyone offer any help or suggestions where to go or what to do to get help ?
im at the point where I’m worried a neighbour will call the police because of the screaming and shouting from her.
We all try to help her and work with her but she the anger side of her is uncontrollable and we all need help !
Thank you and I welcome any help.
Hi. It's tough when they're young and you have to go through that diagnosis process as well as trying to learn how to deal with the issues at home. We've been through it with both kids and I can honestly say things have got easier with time. Our local council have an autism team who offer training to parents who's kids have been formally diagnosed. It could be worth checking that out.
I notice you mentioned that your daughter is good in school but not at home. It could be that she's bottling up all her emotions all day at school and then letting it all out when whe gets home and she feels she can relax. Maybe allow for some chill out time after school. Let your daughter do whatever activities she takes comfort from.
Hello Tracie,
I am new here (my 1st post). Apologies in advance, but I'm tapping into you for guidance.
My daughter 10yrs old has just been diagnosed with level 1 autism (Aspergers) with no learning difficulties.
For years I've struggled with her violent behaviour towards me and complete determination not to do anything for herself other than play. At school she's a model student, with friends.
Home has always been a different story. Furniture upturned and if light enough thrown, doors slammed into walls. Constant shouting and battles over the smallest of things (obviously now I am beginning to understand; small to me but massive to her). Violence no-one would take if it wasn't from the child you adore so much. Swearing has started in earnest too in the last couple of months.
I've spoken to my neighbours as I was sure they would be thinking I must be hurting her (especially as she would shout I've hurt her, when she's hurt her hand or foot in hitting/kicking me) . They have accepted my daughter has issues and don't judge her (which is simply wonderful). Doesn't make me feel better as she doesn't understand she hurt herself, but it is a relief to know my neighbours have the knowledge and are supportive.
In the last month, have you made some sense of the world of Aspergers? Did you find support in the websites others sent to you?
My apologies for asking the above, especially as I completely get your pleas for help.
Any strategies or pointers you can give me, I would really appreciate.
I am only just tentatively looking into Aspergers, as I need to take it slowly, so I can hone in on, not only behavioural strategies but also where I can get information and support for my girl who (from what I've seen so far) is in a kind of inbetween age group. She has intelligence but lesser developed emotional intelligence. So I need to "pitch" things to her in a way that isn't insulting but is clear (hope that makes sense).
She's a smart cookie and is already using "I've got Aspergers, so deal with it" as an excuse. I need to get her empowered, so she understands Aspergers is a condition not an excuse.
Thank you in advance for any pointers you've uncovered and can share.
Jane