• Replies 10 replies
  • Subscribers 68 subscribers
  • Views 3192 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

My 12 year daughter referred for assessment

NAS50820

hi all, I’m new to this group and I joined it as my 12 year old daughter is struggling with building friendships in y8 girls’ school. She started y7 and made friends but it all started to go wrong after Christmas and ended up being bullied by some of her peers at the end of y7.

she hasn’t been able to make any friends since and the school has helped with addressing the bullying which I believe has stopped. However my daughter’s confidence hasn’t improved and the school carried and initial assessment which highlighted some communication difficulties and now has referred her for a formal assessment - which I believe will take up to a year’s wait.

my questions to you are:  do I go the private route for an assessment? And also how can the school help her i the meantime? They have offered her a social skills group once a week and she seems to be enjoying this. What else can I do to support her?

my daughter didn’t have any obvious difficulties in primary school, she didn’t have any close friendships but she was in a lovely class and school where everyone was very friendly.

She has particular food likes, doesn’t like extremely noisy places but tolerated them, gets affected by strong smells - now everything seems to be falling into place.

any advice will be greatly appreciated thank you!

Parents

  • Hi, I have 3 children, 2 have had a diagnosis through CAMHS and I am awaiting an assessment for my youngest - it's approaching a year now but with him I am just assuming he has ASD at this stage.

    My 2 eldest didn't have obvious issues in primary school either and it was about year 8 when my daughter (now 16) started to struggle and we were first referred to CAMHS. 

    I would suggest it is probably not worth paying to get a diagnosis any faster because effectively what you get with a diagnosis is a bit of paper confirming it. It does sound like your daughter has traits of ASD and I personally suggest reading about it as much as you can at this stage.

    The school sounds great if they are offering a social skills course already. You will probably find the school has a nurse attached to it as well as a counsellor, your daughter may find these people useful to talk to if/when she is struggling at school.  It will also probably become obvious fairly quickly which of the staff are aware of SEN needs - at the school my children are at some of the teachers have gone above and beyond with helping my 3 cope.

    While your daughter is awaiting assessment I would imagine the school will make her teachers aware and they should put things in place for her with that in mind.

    My daughter has found closer friends in out of school activities in line with her interests. It's definitely worth looking into extra curricular groups etc which may help.

  • in reply to Beckster

    Thank you for your advice @beckster, I’ll speak to the school about anything else they can offer  my daughter in terms of support. She is finding it extremely hard. Today she came home saying she’s always the last one to be picked for class activities and a couple of girls seem to be picking on her - I will flag these up with the school first thing tomorrow. I will also ask if all teachers have been made aware of her re assessment and needs.

    I’m looking into out of school activities. Also If you can share any further advice on how to discuss  with my daughter that we are waiting for an assessment for her (I don’t want her to get really upset about it so not sure how to broach subject).

    thank you!

  • in reply to NAS50820

    Interestingly it was our school nurse who suggested I get my daughter assessed for Autism so my daughter was aware of what was going on at the time. She was interested to know, but had read a little about ASD in advance so I think she understood. This was all in year 8 so it may be worth just saying to your daughter that you are going to meet someone who may be able to help her to understand herself more and that autism is something they are thinking about. Keep it light and leave it at that unless she asks for more details. You may find she will look for more details herself (my middle child definitely did).

    When my daughter's results were given I was invited to get them on my own. I bought her her favourite cake on the way home and I told her that we had discovered why she was so special and so great at art etc. Kept it positive. She enjoyed that!

    You will find a lot of the reading material and facts to a certain extent are geared towards boys as in a lot of ways girls mask their autism, this is interesting to me. Girls try harder to fit in I think because of the way female friendships are so much more significant (dramatic?)  than with boys.

    With regards to school are there any clubs your daughter would be interested in joining as she will meet people with similar interests at clubs for particular things?

  • in reply to NAS50820

    Think that's the one, here is the link for it 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/professionals/training-consultancy/online/women-and-girls.aspx

    It's free at the moment, as they are trying to raise awareness that girls can present differently. The also have other modules that you can purchase. 

    I wish more professionals could understand that girls don't always tick all the boxes and stop misdiagnosing them or refusing to help full stop! 

    Good luck to you 

Reply Children
No Data