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Strategies for independence

Stitch

Hi, I am a first time poster looking for advice in supporting my son (10) with his independence. He is high functioning, the paed suggested he has Asperges but his diagnosis is ASD. He also scored very poorly on the attention element of the QB test for ADHD. This alone isn’t enough for an ADHD diagnosis but he is still under review.  He is very distracted with some intense obsessions that he thinks about a lot. 

We have a big challenge at the moment with his lack of personal responsibility, he doesn’t take any ownership for his homework for example. We give lots of opportunity for him to tell us about it and to do it but he forgets and tells us he doesn’t have any. This results in him getting in trouble at school which he is genuinely upset about. I don’t believe he is forgetting intentionally, he is a good kid who likes to do the right thing but I think he is just so distracted he either isn’t paying attention when the homework is set or doesn’t retain the information because it’s not interesting to him. He starts secondary school this year and i worry about how he will cope with the big change from being hand-held in primary to secondary. He doesn’t have an EHC we are in a battle with school over it. 

It’s not just the homework, things like  messages from school are completely muddled and I inevitably have to call to find out what has been said. He had missed out on trips and events because he doesn’t bring letters home. He gets upset about these things but doesn’t wallow in it as he then moves back to thinking about his obsessions.  

Hoping someone may be able to suggest strategies for us to try. Thanks 

Parents

  • Hi, 

    Our primary school use an email system for all school letters meaning they don't have to rely on the child handing them over they also email out homework termly. Things like spellings and tables are set in small books that the child brings in on a set day each week this allows us a timetable that my daughter knows she gets homework on a set day each week. They also use a home/school communication book each child has one and they all hand them in each morning and are given them back at the end of the day this allows parents and teachers to communicate without misunderstanding or children forgetting what was said. 

    Talk to your school senco and see if anything like this is available as it really does take the pressure of the child 

  • in reply to NAS39248

    Thank you for the suggestions. Our school also use a journal system but it’s the child’s responsibility to write their homework in it and we find that he either hasn’t made the note or leaves his journal at school. He goes to after school club 3 days a week so we don’t know until he get home that he’s forgotten it. 

    I have a meeting with the SENCO on Wednesday to talk about SATs and high school transition so I’d asked her if there is anything she can do but it will be useful to go armed with some strategies. 

    The letters thing is inconsistent. We have also moved to an online portal but it isn’t used for everything for some reason. which is confusing for me, let alone the kids. I’ve given this feedback already to school. 

    Thanks 

Reply
  • in reply to NAS39248

    Thank you for the suggestions. Our school also use a journal system but it’s the child’s responsibility to write their homework in it and we find that he either hasn’t made the note or leaves his journal at school. He goes to after school club 3 days a week so we don’t know until he get home that he’s forgotten it. 

    I have a meeting with the SENCO on Wednesday to talk about SATs and high school transition so I’d asked her if there is anything she can do but it will be useful to go armed with some strategies. 

    The letters thing is inconsistent. We have also moved to an online portal but it isn’t used for everything for some reason. which is confusing for me, let alone the kids. I’ve given this feedback already to school. 

    Thanks 

Children
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