Not sure if it is autism

Hi

I am brand new to this site and am only posting as I desperately need to find some way of helping my daughter and her sweet little four year old son. He has been troublesome since birth having had reflux, and was therefore unable to lay flat without being in pain and crying. He never crawled because, we thought, lack of tummy time and didn't walk until 22 months. 

His speech was slow but is improving and he has been diagnosed with a global delay. He has been referred to STAARS but we have heard nothing. The paediatrition thinks he may be autistic but is waiting to give a diagnosis. 

The thing is he shows some autistic traits but not others. He has eye contact, is loving, has just moved house and took that in his stride but is happier in adult company and not bothered by other children. He is not very physical, is unable to climb and cannot jump. When he runs he waddles like a toddler  His play us very repetitive and usually consists of putting things in order. He has known his alphabet for a long time and can read some words  

The worst trait is he will not do as he is told and will argue with commands. He refuses to hold hands whilst walking and my daughter tells him off but I am not sure whether this is the right course of action. Unfortunately I don't know what is! She says that we all give in to him which is true to some extent but we have to get through each day  I have him two days a week as she works full time. His daddy has him at home one day and he is at nursery the other two days. 

All my daughter wants is to spend some quality time with him but it is just a nightmare. I left her crying today after another run in with him. 

Any advice would be gratefully received. Please tell me it gets better!