starting an assesment for my 11 yr old son

So in my previous thread, I wrote we were unsure whether to go ahead and start an assesment process....but things have not changed, and we have been reading a lot about Autism, and think perhaps there are things that fit...

So when I spoke to my sons contact person last week from CAMHS and told her how things were, and she herself suggested starting the assesment process, i agreed that perhaps that was the thing to do. 

We are now booked in for a meeting with camhs to do a developmental history screen and his secondary school have to answer some questionnaire, then it will go to a panel to discuss if the will take the process further.

NOw, the thing is, i talk to learning support coordinator and apart from the fact that he is in the learning centre every break and lunchtime (his own choice), she says he seems happy and socialble with the kids in there ( they play a lot of board games), and his teachers dont have any issues with him ( which we know,  as in school he has always behaved perfectly and is quite shy - it's at home the problems really show)....

and i have been sent the developmental history screening questionnaire and i don't remember much from him being young, and to be honest most things have seemed pretty normal in terms of his communication which most of the questions seem to be on, so in that nothing will come up? 

therefore thinking now, that maybe this isnt at all where we should be going...as there is no way he forfills perhaps whats needs to be forfilled to go to the next step of screening anyways?

( Despite him having really no friends his own age and struggling socially in school for some years, stimming a lot at home, tics, struggling at home arguing with us, having a  huge sense of what is fair and not fair especailly alongside his older brother of 2.4 yrs older,  needing a lot of structure, warning, times for everything, his obsession with different things, huge anxiety meltdowns, not coping with too much stimulation very well, likes to sit alone on the sofa - never cuddling up to anyone, only wants hugs if he gives them and then its  very tight squeeze, always has been difficult to put to bed - now needs timers to time how long he takes to get ready to get him to bed, needs one-to-one time in order to calm down and be able to fall asleep..and there are more!! ) 

Parents
  • Oh!I should highlight that the scenario of going from a seemingly 'normal' child to a child experiencing distinct difficulties will be taken into consideration,your son is clearly not where he should be in terms of development-CAHMS are aware of this and would not even suggest/agree to the first part of the assessment to go ahead if they deemed it to be irrelevant.

  • thanks for your reply, makes me feel a little less worried...i just dont want to be that parent that is pushing for a diagnosis as im really not, and we havent wanted to even look into this for a while, but his behaviour at home is just not getting better, and we are not sure how to handle it best... so for his sake for the future i think we need to see what may if anything be underlying all this....he has only until now had been told he has anxiety issues. on one side i dont want to make it out that he has big problems, but on the otherside i cant deny he hasnt got problems , but we are so used to him and his quirkyness and challenges, that it seems a big deal making them a big deal...not sure that made sense...but anyways, its a difficult process... we have the session with camhs on the 28th so have a little time to wait

Reply
  • thanks for your reply, makes me feel a little less worried...i just dont want to be that parent that is pushing for a diagnosis as im really not, and we havent wanted to even look into this for a while, but his behaviour at home is just not getting better, and we are not sure how to handle it best... so for his sake for the future i think we need to see what may if anything be underlying all this....he has only until now had been told he has anxiety issues. on one side i dont want to make it out that he has big problems, but on the otherside i cant deny he hasnt got problems , but we are so used to him and his quirkyness and challenges, that it seems a big deal making them a big deal...not sure that made sense...but anyways, its a difficult process... we have the session with camhs on the 28th so have a little time to wait

Children
  • I question my decision to push for diagnosis all the time! Some days everything is fine with her and I think to myself you are making a fuss over nothing, which led to me not pushing for years but each time she started to struggle it took longer to return to the level she was at . She is very good at masking and has this strict ideology of how to behave in school which of course means she is the perfect student in class! But a very experienced teacher saw right through that last year and watched how she literally switched the mask off when I collected her. She also recommend assessment and helped support us. This year her social difficulties are becoming more apparent and other staff .are starting to see my point but from an initial view she appears a happy well integrated member of the class with friends. It's when you look what's going on at a slightly deeper level you see the difference and this is what camhs will be looking at. 

    I know my daughter is asd but even I question myself sometimes but I made the decision not to back down this time I would rather her be assessed and me proved wrong ( don't think it will happen) than ignore it and her struggles increase .

    Good luck!