Published on 12, July, 2020
You would never have known my daughter had autism until she started main stream school and from this point our world has been turned upside down. In the last 18 months my daughter went from a confident, caring fun loving child, who when she started mainstream school she was bullied both physically and emotionally at school, in turn she began to hang around with a naughty child who controlled her (school stated) and then began to be expelled, isolated etc. Within this year she also lost her nan, nephew and step father.
In 2018 she was diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety and Autism and we got told to get on with it.
July 2018 - My daughter was physical attacked at school where she had her ribs broken - initially she was punished by the school, but thankfully another child had video it and it showed my daughter was innocent and had done nothing wrong.
Two days later, my daughter who had never been physical came home and trashed the house and became physical, this went on for hours and hours, the neighbour called the Police and my daughter was dragged of by four police officers handcuffed. From this point she was pushed from foster care to police station back to foster care, we had never been known to SS and did and still don't understand the system.
Our daughter has also been sectioned and taken North - after 28 day assesment we were told she didn't have ADHD, Autism, Anxiety and was just a naughty girl. Our point was - if she was just naughty, why wasn't she like this for twelve years and why had three separate Drs diagnosed her with the above, we got told she hasn't got anything so blah blah blah.
SS took us to court and got an interim care order, we were given twenty minutes to get our daughter ready or we would be arrested. We watched my daughter being put in a mini bus begging us to not make her go. She was taking to a residential home which is for therapy and we were allowed two hours contact every other weekend. This residential home is a twelve hour round trip.
Where are we now - my daughter has some good days, but some incidents where she becomes aggressive and tries to run away to get back home, she has threatened to kill herself if they wont let her home. This week she was taken to hospital because she said she had take tablets (she didn't) she told me over the phone she wants be in hospital because it means she can see us everyday. She was illegally sectioned and handcuffed by police to the bed to stop her running away and when stopped becoming physical. So SS responded to this by stopping all contact with us.
If we had done something wrong I would understand it, but we haven't. The unit, SS, my daughters guardian all say she wants to come home, if this is the case why are we stopped seeing her.
The court ordered a Dr to do a report which is in this week, when he came round he suggested I to on a Asperger's for girls course and read the book, I took from this that perhaps he thinks she does have Asperger's.
I want my daughter home, she wants to come home, I have no support or understanding of autism etc but prepared to go on training, get support, but nobody will tell me what or where I need to go. Is she autistic and are these traits and if so can it be managed.
The Dr spoke to me about schools I had considered - I don't know, because she was autistic, then not, now maybe depending on his report. I just don't know
I just don't know what to do, I am scared SS will take my daughter away forever, I am scared that she will be miss diagnosed again, I am scared I don't know enough to help her and support her if she comes home. I am just scared for her.
Advice please as I just don't know.
Hi,
I just read your post and had to reply. I’m so sorry you and your family are going through such a traumatic time, I have to ask, when the police officers arrived and arrested her, did any parent/guardian go in the police car with her? It is illegal to arrest and process a child without a parent or guardian present (this could also be a social worker).
I would put all my time and resources into reasearching the law in the situation of a diagnosed child. Because although they are ‘saying’ it’s not ASD ect. They are just words. It isn’t as simple to just take away a diagnosis as such. In fact the reason for the lengthy assessment process is because once that diagnosis is there, it’s there for life unless proven otherwise which would require a lot of investigating.
Keep a diary of absolutely everything you are told, keep numbers and names of those people (including even receptionists) making a note of the date and time. If possible record everything. I always record doctors appointments because my husband works away and I can never remember everything. I just put my phone on record and keep it in my hand or on my knee so they can’t tell and I’m not videoing their faces which of course is illegal without consent.
Are you able to write to her? Will they allow her to read your letters? The main thing is her, to keep her positivity up and to be a constant reminder that you will not rest until she is back home where she belongs. What they are doing (by the sounds of it), will likely cause even more trauma to her on top of what has already happened in the past. I’m quite surprised the police just took her on the one night she was being physical, and that SS just took her. I know it can happen if the child has been taken to a&e ect but while in the family home as long as the child isn’t in danger a warrant is needed to remove her from the family home by police escorts to a social worker.
Again I’m so sorry to hear what your going through, I really would research into it all as deep as I could. And look into speaking to a solicitor. Maybe see if you can arrange for other family members ie grandparents, aunties, uncles and even friends to visit her while you are in a tough position. The last thing I’d want is the child to not have any psychical contact with people she actually knows in her normal day to day life.