Family tensions

Hello everyone,

 I live with my husband 26 year old daughter and 25 year old son. I also look after my 2 grandchildren almost daily whilst my 29 year old daughter works. The DD at home rarely leaves her room and has extreme anxiety/depression. My DS hardly leaves his room, he has a diagnosis of ASand ODD. My 10 year old grandson also has a diagnosis of ADHD and AS. My DS is high functioning and on first impression people think he would be "easy" to assist. He has been attending the job centre regularly since his benefits have been changed and he can sit there and answer their questions but they don't see the anxiety he goes through before going there. He is verbally agressive towards me and damages the house. I make other arrangements for the grandchildren so that they are not around before these job centre appointments. He can be like this at other times, mostly centred around meals, and to be honest I do what I can to keep him happy. My DD who lives here isn't happy with her brothers behaviour and tells him so but not in a calm manner. She doesn't like how he treats me and his attitude to people he's watching on his TV. DS shouts and swears at people on the TV and neighbors must hear when the windows are open. DS has said he hates us, he hates living with us and he'd gladly go to prison for beating us up. There are times however when he's calm. I feel that anxiety is behind his apparent dislike of people as he's anxious about going out incase he gets involved in a terrorist incident. Should I see our GP to explain about my DS? What good would it do? I recently contacted Social Services to see if they could help but DS declined a support worker ( I don't think I'm the right person to support him because he gets angry with me) and despite DS desperately wanting to move out because he can't stand all of us the social worker saiythat there's a housing shortage and DS,'s needs were being met within the home. How can I improve the situation? Thanks